August 4, 2010

Edward Cullen couldn’t believe his luck as he walked the halls of Forks High School. He feared that she’d come to her senses and completely ignore him today. He’d understand. He was a social leper, and Isabella Swan was untouchable by anyone outside of her circle.

He pushed his glasses up his nose, noticing a smudge on the lens. Cringing, he quickly swept them off his face and tried to clean it off. He’d dropped his glasses earlier and picked them up with his hand that had been on him there just moments before. The last thing he wanted was for Isabella to see him wiping off his jizz from his glasses.

Bella he reminded himself. She asked him to call her Bella, preferring the shortened name. It still meant the same thing—beautiful. And Bella was the epitome of beauty to Edward and ninety-nine percent of male population of Forks. He knew it was foolish to think they’d be anything more than friends.

Bella Swan had moved to Forks less than four months ago. She was so sweet and smart, and never joined the jocks when they made fun of him. In fact, when she was around she’d tell them off. Unfortunately, the jockstrappers went out of their way to harass him when she wasn’t around.

Who knew they were smart enough to do that.

Bella didn’t date within her circle that much everyone knew. She’d go on group dates but never an individual one. Therefore, it surprised Edward that she’d asked if he wanted to go with her to the planetarium in Seattle. There was underlying feeling that she might be playing him or just using him since he had a car.

Bella had managed to infiltrate the inner circle because of her looks and playing sports, not by what her daddy made. Her father was the new Chief of Police, so money wasn’t something they had. Edward on the other hand, had money because his parents were surgeons. However, he was a nerd.

Plain and simple, he was a huge geek. He had just gotten control of his acne and his braces had come off just the other day. He looked different but the geek stereotype had permanently labeled him.

He had his own set of friends, and most of them he was sure wouldn’t turn their back on him because of the bottom line of his bank account. So, he didn’t care about what they thought of him.

He noticed Jessica Stanley was looking at him strangely, as if she hadn’t ever seen him before. She had though. Last month she had Mike steal his clothes during PE just because he had won the debate in class. Luckily, for Edward, his friend Ben knew what happened and saved Edward from humiliation of having to expose himself.

Putting his glasses back on, he set out to find Bella. She had asked him to meet her by her locker.

That’s when he saw her. His mind went numb and the only thought in it was wow. She had her hair up, which she didn’t do often, exposing her slender neck. She was removing her jacket, when she stopped suddenly and turned toward him. Her smile was instant and wide, perfect white teeth, surrounded by soft pink lips.

Placing her jacket in the locker, she gave him a small wave. Still in a Bella induced haze, Edward slowly made his way to her, taking the chance to look at her fully. She was in slim jeans that hugged her tight little butt, a long sleeved blue blouse and boots that wrapped around her calves perfectly.

“Hello,” he said softly. Not sure if he should be talking to her in front of everyone. He noticed a few people watching, but he thought he might just be paranoid.

“Edward,” she said a breathy whisper that had Edward trying to control his adolescent body. “Did you finish your report last night?”

Edward smiled and nodded. “Yes, thanks to you.” They had talked for well over an hour about the class assignment. He was so surprised she called him that he fell right off his bed.

“Good,” she replied. “I told you it helps to discuss in depth with someone that knows the material.”

Edward’s heart sank. “Is that why you’re talking to me?” he blurted out.

Bella’s shoulders tensed and then slumped. She turned to Edward, her eyes wide and warm. “That’s not the only reason, Edward.”

“I don’t understand what you want from me.”

“That’s what I was hoping to find out,” she said curtly. “But I see you’ve already judged me like all the rest.”

She slammed her locker closed, her eyes still on Edward’s face. “I haven’t given you any reason to think that I’m like them. I never treated you differently than I treat others, until last week after lab.”

She turned on her heels and left Edward to stand alone. Fuck, he was so stupid.

“Wait, Bella,” he said, catching her by the arm. “I’m sorry, it’s just…wait. Why did you start treating me differently?”

“I—um—” she stuttered and blushed. Edward blown away by the color on her cheeks, he wasn’t even aware of his hand touching the area softly. He heard Bella’s breath catch, he quickly snatched his hand back. She whispered something he couldn’t here. He leaned closer, asking her to repeat herself. He felt the heat of her breath against his neck as he bent to listen.

“I dreamt of you.”

Edward stood back to breathe and to look at her. She was being honest, he could see it in her eyes as she looked up to meet his. He always dreamt of her. He smiled, happy when she did the same.

“May I walk you to class?” he asked.

She nodded and adjusted her backpack over her shoulder. Edward knew her first three classes were across campus, which meant she was carrying three larges books. That was why she kept shifting her bag from shoulder to shoulder.

“Let me get your bag for you,” he said as he tried to grab the strap, but instead grazed the side of her breast. They both gasped. She shook her head, stepping away.

“It’s fine. I have it.”

“Let me hold that,” he begged.

She sighed and pulled him into an empty classroom, closing the door behind her. “Edward,” she said firmly. “I don’t want you to think I’m only using you as my mule to carry stuff around.”

He deserved that, of course she’d think she had to do that.

“I won’t,” he said as he took a step closer. Bella stepped backward until her body hit the door. This was very similar to one of Edward’s dreams. She gasped his name as he leaned a little closer.

“You smell really good,” she whispered, looking up at him. She was so much smaller than him and he liked the feminine feel of her stature. He could easier tuck her against his chest. He pictured himself bending to kiss her and to deepen is he’d lift her off her feet by cradling her peachy little ass.

“So do you,” he said, lowering his mouth closer to her ear. “Like warmth and chocolate.”

She placed her hand on his chest, he was sure he could feel the staccato of his heart. Channeling the Edward from his dreams, he brushed his lips against her ear.

“What did you dream about, Bella?”

“You,” she gasped.

“What was I doing, love?”

“We were in the lab,” she said breathlessly. “Only us.”

“Tell me please.”

“It was the day we worked together, only instead of you pulling away from my touch—” she stopped as his lips brushed just under her ear. She smelled so good, felt so good. Edward remembered that day clearly. Her lab partner, Angela was out sick so Mr. Banner had them working together. That first touch was arousing, shocking and embarrassing. Her touch ignited his blood and hardened his entire body.

“Go on,” I murmured against her neck, dropping my bag beside me. I slipped one hand under the strap on her shoulder. Slowly I dragged it down and felt her bag fall behind her. I slid my hand over her arm, this time feeling a little shiver run through her.

“You kept touching me,” she replied.

I smiled against her neck, her hands suddenly on my back. While mine decided to seek more of her warmth.

“I wanted to,” I said softly.

She moaned softly, pulling my mouth to hers.

Bella Swan gave me my first kiss that morning. That night she let me kiss her again under the stars.

We fell into a rhythm, a way if being.

Isn’t it always that way, though? Any relationship that lasts past a couple weeks has to establish its own way of being somehow.

We watched movies late at night a lot. Sometimes smoked and drove to Walgreens for candy late at night.

Lots of late at night.

We napped together a lot.

Well, that’s a lie; he napped and I read. I was too hyper to sleep any time that wasn’t night.

We went out to eat a lot. He didn’t cook and I didn’t really know how. Rose had taken to teaching me at home; she was one of those people with an instinctive knack for knowing what tasted good with what. She experimented and won. I attempted and failed. But she was patient with me.

Still, I wasn’t confident trying to make anything Edward would actually have to consume so he and I just went out.

He wasn’t filthy rich but he had plenty of money. He was practical, rational, and logical, and all of those stodgy words that meant he was good with numbers and finances.
It helped he’d also been out of school for awhile, and had paid off his student loans.

So he had plenty while I was struggling through school, holding down a full time job at the same time.

“You pay your dues. I’ll pay for dinner,” he said.

And that was fine.

I liked the way he took care of me.

It wasn’t typical gentlemanly type stuff.

He didn’t open my door for me or pull out my chair. Sometimes he was still late, even though he’d gotten better. His bed was chronically unmade from sleeping and sex. There were blueprints and contracts covering the coffee table and multiple projects he had going in every corner. And tools, everywhere.

He wasn’t clean cut and GQ.

But he got me. In the silences and the conversations, in the presence and the absence, he got me.

When I told him I’d finished reading a book I loved he’d gone out and found the sequel. Without fanfare. I found it in my messenger bag later the next day.

When we walked down the sidewalk he kept me on the inside, putting himself between me and the road. The only other guy ever to do that was my dad.

–

“Take a bath with me,” he said, pulling himself up from the couch.

I almost didn’t hear him, between the Isley Brothers album he had going and the latest National Geographic I’d found by his bed. Unable to resist the article on baby snow leopards, I’d curled up beside Edward and gorged myself on cuteness. The furrier, the better.

“Bella.”

Sticking my finger into the magazine so I wouldn’t lose my place, I looked up.

“Come take a bath.”

“Oh.” Forget baby snow leopards.

I followed him into his bathroom which, of course, was midway through remodeling.

He’d already started filling the tub with hot water. I shed my clothing, thankful for the steam misting out of the tub and how it helped lessen the chill in the air.

I heard Footsteps in the Dark start up again.

Edward joined me, his shirt gone.

“I like your scruff,” I said, pressing my naked body against his partially clothed one.

“Yeah?” He smoothed his hand over my butt, cupping it before letting go.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll leave it then.”

“Good.”

He smiled a little and undid his jeans, letting them pool at his feet before stepping out of them. The only light came from the bedroom, and because I knew Edward and his quirky ways, I didn’t bother asking for more.

He got in first. I climbed in after, careful to give him space so he could actually bathe.

Sexy, yes.

But practical. He had grease all over his arms from working on his truck earlier, and paint speckled his skin. I turned in the tub so I was facing him and grabbed another bar of soap so I could get clean too.

I imagined he would’ve been one of those Wild West types, rugged and strong and quiet. Rowdy in the sack. I could see him on a horse.

“What’re you smiling about?” His voice floated across the water.

“You as a cowboy.”

“I could live on the frontier, easily.”

“I know you could,” I said, smug on the inside because I’d thought as much.

“You could be my cowgirl. Assless chaps and all.”

I laughed, thoroughly amused at the thought, and splashed him. “I could ride you.”

“You can ride me now.”

My smile dimmed, crowded by lustiness. “I could.”

He yanked me over by the leg and turned me around so my back was to his chest, pulled me against him so we were both reclining back. I closed my eyes, breathing him in,
loving how our skin felt slick and supple.

–

I startled, realizing we’d been dozing.

Edward’s somnolence was contagious.

The water wasn’t as hot as it had been and I shivered involuntarily.

“Edward.” I detached myself and stood. “Edward, come on.”

His eyes opened slowly like they always did. He gazed up at me, his arms draped loosely over the sides of the tub.

Oh.

I got out of the tub and grabbed a towel. I liked how he watched me.

“I want you,” I said simply, getting his towel off the rack. “I don’t care if you’re tired.”

“I want you too, cowgirl.” He smirked as he got up and it took all of my will power not to drop to my knees and put him in my mouth.

Instead, I tossed him his towel and hung mine up.

My skin was wrinkly from having been in the bath for so long. I got onto the bed, thankful he’d finally fixed the heater.

He’d barely dried off.

Without another word he got between my legs and kissed me where he’d take me. I held his head between my hands and succumbed to how good it felt, how good he felt. I threw a pillow over my face when I came, wanting to muffle the sound of my orgasm. It was really hard for me to keep quiet and sometimes I didn’t feel like wondering if the neighbors could hear Edward taking care of his girl.

He moved so that he was cradled between my thighs and snatched the pillow, sending it across the bed. He yanked away the one under my head too, preferring when I was flat.

“You feel good,” he said as he loved me, and that was rare. He rarely, if ever, spoke during sex.

“You too,” I said, spreading my hands over the expanse of his back.

He smiled, and caught my lip in his teeth, and kissed me, and I held him tight and kissed him back, kissed him and tongued him and kissed him some more, even when and
especially when he came, the forces of his thrusts bringing my bottom off the bed.

“You okay?” he asked at the end, collapsing on top me.

I clung to him, reminding myself of the baby snow leopards riding their mother’s backs during playtime.

“You make me okay,” I purred, earning a quiet laugh from him.

“Good.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” I asked, running my tongue against the outside of his ear.

He shook his head away from my mouth, squeezing my hip as he got up.

“Just making sure.”

“I’d tell you if I didn’t like what you were doing,” I said when he returned from the bathroom.

He nodded, lying next to me. “I’m glad. You used to be afraid.”

“You intimidated me,” I admitted.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, you just did.”

“I’d never hurt you.”

“I know.” I glanced at him, loving him in secret.

We left the beach as the moon was setting over the ocean and the fire was nothing but embers. Edward took my hand as he walked me to my side of the car, as if he was going to open the door for me. Instead he held me in his arms, for once reading my mood as I had already drifted to thoughts of seeing my father in the morning.

“He’s fine,” he whispered in my ear, comforting me.

“What if he’s not?” I asked, silent tears threatening again despite Edward’s many attempts to distract me.

Lifting my chin he looked me in the eyes; his were full of compassion. “Bella, go to the logical end of that question, what if he’s not. Then what?”

I wasn’t in the mood for logic. The whole day had been horrific for me and I really didn’t want to face that question. Seeing the shock in my eyes, he rolled his. Taking my shoulders in his hands he gave me a gentle shake, “Bella, I didn’t mean that you should be prepared for that, just that I really think you should think this through. What would you do if you lost your dad? Who will you turn to? I’m asking so if the worst happens I can help you reach that person.”

“Oh,” I whispered, finally understanding him. It was obvious we would need communication help if anything ever came of this. “Um, my mom, Renee, her number is in my phone.”

We drove home in silence after that, his hand across the console holding mine, only letting go to get out of the car when we arrived at my dad’s place. “Do you want to shower?” he asked as he followed me up the stairs to my room, and I nodded emphatically. As much as I loved the ocean and the salt spray, sleeping with salt encrusted hair and skin wasn’t pleasant. “Okay, you go first, and I’ll take one when you’re done.”

The fresh water was warm and soothing on my skin, but I still hurried through as I could feel my exhaustion from the stress of the day bleed out all the adrenaline that had kept me going. When I emerged from the bathroom, my hair in a towel and wearing my ratty, comfy pajamas it was to find him leaning against the wall, just his shorts on. For a moment I was stunned by his beauty. He wasn’t ripped in the normal, body-builder way, but rather had gentle definitions of his muscles as they rippled like gently undulating waves down his abdomen. His arms had the same toned definition, making it obvious he spent time at the gym but didn’t live there.

His soft chuckle brought me out of my stupor and his face was level with my eyes when I looked up. “I think you’re rather nice to look at as well,” he laughed quietly, “especially when you share what you’re thinking.”

Reaching up my hand I ran it over his day’s growth of beard. “I like you hirsute,” I whispered, then blushed when I realized what my sleep-deprived brain had said. “Um, I mean, furrier, like this, with a slight beard. Um, I’m going to bed now.” I made my escape to the sound of his laughter before he closed the door behind him and fell asleep to the sound of the water running in the shower.

I woke to him on his back and me snuggled into his shoulder, his hand holding mine on his chest. For just a moment it was nice to lie there, feeling his other arm around my shoulders, holding me close, my palm open on his still bare chest with his fingers wrapped around mine. His breathing was slow and steady and it seemed like he was still soundly asleep. I, on the other hand, needed to get to the bathroom. Now.

Raising my body up I attempted to pull my fingers from his, only to have him tighten his grasp on them and reach up to pull my head back down onto his shoulder. “Let me hold that,” he begged, squeezing my fingers again.

“The problem is that I don’t think I can hold it any longer,” I whispered, trying once again to extract myself from his grasp, taking advantage of him laughing. “I’ll be back in a moment.” Making a beeline for the bathroom, trying very hard to keep hold of my bladder I chanced a look at the clock before shutting the door. It was ten in the morning, no wonder my bladder was complaining so vociferously.

My stomach was also beginning to express its displeasure over being ignored, but that could be due to the fact that I could already smell something coming up from the kitchen. I quickly washed my hands and ran down the stairs to find the microwave rotating, warming our leftovers from yesterday’s dinner. “I could make breakfast, but thought you’d rather get to your father this morning,” he said with a smile, still wearing just a pair of shorts, almost enough to distract me from the food.

“No, this is good,” I told him, surprised when he reached over and took my hand again.

“I told you I wanted to hold this,” he said, squeezing my fingers and leaning close enough to kiss me but not quite making the connection. Instead he just held his head there, smiling at me, not moving, even when the microwave dinged.

My breathing picked up as he held there, smiling, My eyes traveled back and forth between his eyes and his lips and it was easy to tell he was waiting for me to make the decision. When I thought about it, I realized that he had always kissed me. I had yet to kiss him. With a smirk I lifted my body up just slightly, bringing my lips within centimeters of his, but also lifting my body off my chair. “Edward,” I whispered.

“Hmm?” he asked, his breathing now getting faster.

“I’m hungry,” I responded as I slipped out from under him, pulled my hand from his and opened the microwave.

Grabbing me around my waist he pulled me back to him, once again taking hold of my hand. “You are a cruel woman,” he hissed into my neck, “and I told you I want to hold this.”

Pulling back I used my free hand to lift his chin up from my neck. “Edward,” I whispered again, drawing his gaze up to me. “I’m hungry.” With that I captured his lips with my own.

I should have known that giving Josh the keys and letting him go home first would be a fatal mistake, oh well, we all do those kinds… To bad that I never seem to learn! I look up at Josh who is know sitting on top of me holding the one thing in my apartment, correction our apartment, that either Josh nor Rafe should never see.

“Oh my! Née when did you get a thing for this kind of kinky?” Josh says the same moment as Rafe enters the living-room, or what’s left of it anyway. Rafe stops immediately when he sees us and I’m sure it looks way different from what is actually is. Josh is sitting on my belly wearing his usual smug and evil smile on his face, holding a pair of handcuffs in his one hand while the other one is pinning down my hands above my head. Yeah, adding our… uhm… position to Josh’s comment and I’m sure this looks completely wrong.

“Rafe, please, help me? Josh is being a jerk and, no, this isn’t what it looks like!” I beg my other house-buddy as he unfreeze and makes a move with his hand to his mouth like he’s wiping away drool or something. Then I realize what makes my statement sound like complete buggers: my sexy-dress I’ve been wearing tonight, in hope for a one-night-stand, has hiked up the few inches it was left to hike up before being at my waist. Leaving my ass, and very small thong, very visible.

“Hahaha, you are not getting out of my Master-grip, Née. Rafe, come and see what our friend have been up to when we where busy helping Tara move to Austin.” Josh laughs and when he holds up the red and fluffy handcuffs, so that Rafe can have a closer look, I try to wiggle out from his hold which only tightens around my hands. I look up at his arm above my head and see that the familiar tattoo on his wrist just. An. Inch. Away.

No! Bad girl! No such thoughts about Josh. Forget your tattoo fetish and your Josh and Rafe fetish! The are untouchable! My inner voice yells at me and immediately my eyes are drawn, away from the inked bite mark, to Rafe and his right shoulder, where the black wolf is howling.

No, you made your promise! No humping of the guys, not until they say so anyway… Then you, we, can have as much fun with them as we please. My inner voice says and wavers. However, after shaking my head a little I regain control.

“Let me see.” Rafe nearly begs and it’s making him sound like an eager teenager, and that is something he isn’t. Nope, Rafe is more the Dom-type when going at it. Or that’s at least what you managed to get out from all the girls, you know, Rafael has been fucking for the last few years. My mind is teasing me and, yeah, it switches from lecturing to teasing so fast my brain should be getting whiplash.

“Looks like little Née thinks she’s all grown up and ready to play kinky adult-games when we aren’t home.” Josh says as he leans in really close and smiles at me. “Well, Néah should have just asked us instead…” The moment the sentence left Joshua’s mouth I think I’ve died and come to heaven. However, when the very same Josh quickly stands up and walks of into the hallway and then slips into the kitchen I’m sure my mind is still just teasing me and that surely Joshua would never say something like that to me.

Yeah, when he has models standing in a line to just look at him. Oh and you are Miss Ugly-Girl-The-Next-Door? I don’t think so, what about that guy last week? The one Josh and Rafe had been shit-talking about ever since they found out about your “date”. Or the guy before him, that goes in the same American History class as you and Josh, who came to school the day after your “date” with a black eye and a limp?! The guys you hump-and-dump sure gets beaten up a lot and after that, well, Josh and Rafe seems happy as kiddies in a chocolate factory! My mind lectures me, oh well. I, she… ehm, we… Must be wrong. Josh and Rafe consider me as their friend, their long-distant cousin sort of.

Yeah, the very hot long-distant cousin of a friend. Which have for a fact sort of happened and been fucked, royally, by both of them.

While ignoring my inner voice I stand up, fix my dress and then walks into the kitchen were Josh is leaning against the kitchen-island looking more than illegally hot. Rafe is right behind me and I swear I can feel his abnormal body-heat radiate from him, making me feel just as hot.

Living with two really hot guys is not easy, especially when you have had a crush on them both since you were three, had sex-dreams (and thoughts) about them since the early teens and lived with them almost my entire life. The last part is constantly making people think I’m their little sister, since their parents had a weird case of “shared custody” on me since my biological parents died when I was a baby.

I can feel Rafe breath in my neck and even though I can’t see him I somehow know what he is about to do. He leans closer to me and places open-mouthed kisses, from my left side of my neck to my right side of it, the sensation making me close my eyes and I almost moan out loud. I have to hold back the whimper, too, when he speaks.

“Seems like you and Josh needs to fix some things. I’ll be at the club.” Rafe says and takes five steps, open the door and closes it from the other side. Leaving me with smug-looking Josh and some very naughty thoughts, which I mentally chase away with a broom before I tries to reach for my handcuffs.

“Give ‘em to me Josh.” I reach for them again but, again, he holds me back with one arm while dangling them in the air.

“Why? So you can have more fun with them?” Josh says and he sounds almost hurt which immediately makes me worried. I stop jumping, trying to reach my red-fluffy friends, and looks at his face.

His usual grey-blue eyes are now completely grey, the blue which I connect to happiness is missing, and his smile is gone, leaving his lips in a thin line.

Confused of what I’ve done wrong I stupidly says the only thing I can think of, or not really think.”They weren’t supposed to be out in the living-room, I thought…”

“You thought what? That you’d cleaned up your little fun? That you gotten away of all the evidence that the latest guy being here got to have you?” Josh says, his voice empty and hollow, reflecting his eyes.

I don’t know why but at the word “have” I can feel my eyes tearing up and I turn around, saying the one thing I’ve never ever said to neither of the two boys I love the most. “Leave me alone.”

I walk out of the kitchen, cross the hallway and slam the door the second I walk into my room. At least it was the idea, instead it barely clicks as the door shuts and I sink down to the floor and let the tears take over me.

I don’t know how, or when, I made it to my bed but I wake up to the sound of arguing. I’ve never been able to be around people who argue, sure it’s okay if it’s just a joke or for fun but never for a real one. The voices are easy to recognize, Josh and Rafe. I quietly slip out of my bed and sneaks towards the door, mostly afraid of what I’ll hear.

As I sit down next to the door, using the wall next to it to lean against, I notice that I’m wearing one of the t-shirts that I took from Rafe when I was 15 and have been sleeping in whenever I’m feeling alone ever since.

When I concentrate on the arguing I can hear that Rafe is sounding really pissed, he seems to be almost lecturing Josh about something.

“We can’t just expect her to understand our way just because we do, she’s never done that. And you can’t freak out every time you find something like the handcuffs, sure it was a mistake on her part but come on! It was one single, you know how careful she is otherwise, she doesn’t even meet one of the guys unless she approach him first and Tara or someone else of the girls says he’s harmless, hell, even less than harmless.” Confusion takes over my mind at his words.

“But she shouldn’t even be with ‘em! She’s making several mistakes and we can’t help her because that would be wrong!” Josh sounds so angry and sad at the same time and I have to hold my hand against my mouth not to let the sob, that is making my body shake, slip out.

“Tara said that Née thinks we’re thinking she’s doing something wrong and that is why she’s sneaking. Née feels terrible about it and tonight was going to be her showing us that she isn’t the little girl we supposedly think she is. Tara tried to tell me that but I wouldn’t listen. Now she called me because Née was supposed to call her later tonight as usual but when she didn’t Tara freaked.”

I gasp slightly at forgetting to call Tara, I always call her at 2 in the morning after I’ve been out. Just so that she’ll know I’m fine and she’s supposed to call the guys if she don’t hear from me before 2:30. Damn it! What’s the time now?

I nearly curse loudly as I look at my clock on the night-stand and see that it’s way over 2:30, it’s 4:53. Shit! I reach to take my mobile from the small table as a reflex before remembering that I left it in my jacket when throwing it away at the sight of Josh holding the handcuffs. The hand-fucking-cuffs! Josh still got them, damn it. Shit, shit, shit!

The guys still think I use them, fuck. I was actually going to tell them about the little, tiny, mini fact about that the handcuffs where a part of my costume for the up-coming costume-party I was going to throw for the guys next month. Tara have been helping me for the past two weeks to find the perfect things to get to my costume: caught vampire. She was going to be a Slayer and I the poor vamp, however the only good handcuffs we’d found was a pair of ones with red fluff on them. Tara had said that we could tell everyone we had an “Spike and Buffy”-relationship but the difference with us both being females. Both Tara and I had laughed our asses of when walking out from the sex-shop with at least five horny guys looking at us, surely undressing and putting us in various positions. Since we “accidentally” managed to make the whole store think we were a couple when calling each other honey and darlin’ as we usually do.

Still smiling at the memory from last week I can hear only fragments of what the guys are saying, sounds like they’ve calmed down and are joking now. Taking that as my cue, I get up and opens the door. Realizing that the guys are no longer in the kitchen I slowly walk as silently as I can into the living-room, which is now being cleaned by both Rafe and Josh.

“Yesh, if this could happen every time I wake up I would never ask for anything else.” I comment on the guys cleaning, apparently spooking both of them as they jump slightly and I’m earned with shocked faces.

“I’m too tired to sleep.” I say as I put my ass on the couch. “And too hungry.” I continue with my best imitation of puppy-eyes.

Josh laughs his beautifully and sits down next to me. “Really? Well, I’m feeling kinda hungry too.” The blue is back in his eyes and the grey is just small dots, making them perfect. “Rafe, will you do us the honour?” Josh smiles at Rafe and dodges the pillow that gets thrown at him.

“Sure, I’ll check what’s left in the refrigerator. Since I guess that our dear Néah haven’t been grocery-shopping this week when we’ve been gone.” He gives me an accusing look, I just smile at him.

“I take it on your comment that you haven’t checked your rooms yet? And actually, you’ll be surprise when you find out what I’ve been doing. ” I tell him with a sugar sweet voice, however, I won’t be telling them that I’ve been planning the party and cleaning this whole week.

A flash of hurt and sadness washes over both guys faces, making me think of a way to make thing better again. “But that will time reveal, ’cause my lips are sealed.” I make a movement as to sealing my lips and throwing away the key.

Rafe smiles and the hurt seems to be gone from him immediately, almost. He walks into the kitchen and starts to make some food.

I turn to Josh, determined to pretend like I never heard the fight they had or the fact that I can read my guys better than they think. His eyes are still blue but I can see the grey trying to take over. “You can’t see into the future and you can’t read my thoughts so you’ll just have to wait and see, Josh.” I try to make my voice sound light and carefree but I can never fool my guys.

I get closer to Josh, curl into a small ball and clutch his t-shirt. Sitting there, just like we used to whenever I wasn’t feeling well when I was little or when I wanted to keep Josh company ’cause he was the one not feeling well or… At just any time. It is our way. I stay there curled up for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of Rafe cooking, before I lift my head. “I promise, it’s nothing bad.” My words seems to calm him down as he almost comes to live around me, the hurt had him more tense than I first realized, and his arms hugs me as he is pulling me onto his lap.

“I’ll hold you to that.” He murmurs and I feel almost as the safest person alive.

Suddenly there are two more arms hugging me and as I look up I see Rafe smiling. He nods towards the handcuffs lying on the floor a few feet away. “You know those fur-things are only allowed to be used when there are responsible people around, the complete opposite of you after you have been drinking, Née.” Josh chuckles and I feel that now am I completely safe.

“It’s not fur, it’s fluff.” I murmur as Josh puts on a DVD and Rafe hands us each plate with omelets on.