August 5, 2010

Edward dropped me off at home and I headed for the kitchen to take care of the chicken first and then the shower. I thought about his words and was reasonably sure of his sincerity. There was still a part of me, and I was positive it was my own insecurities speaking, that wasn’t sure I deserved this kind of relationship. I couldn’t deny the way he had made my heart race though. The sensations he created in my body felt almost indulgent; I never knew it could feel that way and our ‘almost’ sex had done nothing but make me anxious for more.

Treacherous, treacherous body, I scolded myself. I knew that once we traversed that particular experience, the slippery slope into full-out love and adoration would be a given. If I were being really honest, I had already skidded down that slope, was in fact, still sliding.

No wonder I was so discombobulated.

~

I was in the kitchen hours later, focused on our dinner when I felt his hands thread through my belt loops and his lips caress my neck. I shivered and smiled despite myself and turned in his arms, eliciting a sigh as he gathered me close.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

“Me too,” I responded simply. We stood quietly for a few seconds, reacquainting ourselves with each other and I felt my body settle in to his perfectly.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“You have no idea,” he smirked and kissed the top of my forehead. I smacked him on the ass and tried to step away to finish my cooking. “Oh no you don’t, I didn’t get my kiss yet,” he said, pulling me back to close.

His lips on mine were so gentle, worshipful, as if I were a fragile, porcelain statue. His hands cupped my face reverently and I was the one to deepen the kiss, tracing his perfect lips with my tongue. Greedily, he upped the ante, pushing me back into the counter and trapping me against his body. My hands traveled up the long muscles of his back, reaching up to grip his shoulders.

“Get a room, would you?” Emmett’s voice boomed in, making me jump. At least I assumed it was Emmett, he was the big guy that was with Edward at the restaurant that time. Emmett strode in, opening the fridge obviously looking for something. I crooked an eyebrow at his overbearing ways, questioning his manners. “You guys have any beer? Rosie said it was in the fridge.”

Snorting, I just laughed, Rosie? Really? I can’t imagine she would let him get away with that, but it didn’t matter to me, it was his balls she’d rip off and serve up. He grabbed a Sam Adams and got the top off, draining half of it with one swig.

“You must be Bella,” he said, holding a huge paw out towards me to shake.

“And you…must be Emmett,” I said, putting special emphasis on his name.

“Reputation proceeds me, I see,” he smirked and Edward just rolled his eyes.

“Asshole,” he said under his breath, but was smiling.

“So how’d you get away with calling Rose, Rosie?” I asked, turning back to my vegetables, my gratin almost finished.

“No reason not to,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, wandering back out the door towards Rosie.

Rosalie has finally met her match, I snickered to myself, or maybe vice versa.

“Can you come out and meet Jasper?” Edward said, his hands around my waist again and nose in the back of my neck.

“Yep, just give me a second to finish this and get it in the oven,” I said, trying to control my breathing and focus on not cutting my fingers off as I cut eggplant into thin rounds, his kisses could be very distracting. Layering the last of the vegetables in the dish and topping with the sauce and cheese, I set it in the oven to bake. When my hands were clean, I turned around to him, grabbed the proffered beer and walked out to meet Edward’s roommate.

~

The evening passed in laughter. Mainly mine and Alice’s as we watched Rose give as good as she got from Emmett. We agreed that we’d never seen a guy dish it out to her like that before. Of course she took every chance to be a smart ass and that was what caused most of the laughter, watching Emmett’s face as she said something wildly inappropriate. I guessed he’d never heard a girl use words like that.

As it was nearing time to go, I followed Edward into the kitchen with the dessert plates. I was nervous about bringing it up, but I didn’t want him to leave. We loaded the dishwasher and he leaned against the counter, opening his arms to me. I went immediately and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his shirt, breathing in as though I could physically pull him into me.

“Thank you for dinner, it was awesome…one more reason to love you,” he said, a tiny bit of hesitation in his voice, as if he were afraid of my reaction.

I had my cheek pressed up against his chest and I thought for a second that I’d heard incorrectly. I pulled back just a bit to look at him. His gaze was one of adoration mixed with a dose of anxiety. I guessed what it took for him to say this to me first; Edward Cullen was not the sort of guy to put himself out on a limb, much less an emotional limb of this magnitude.

“I love you too,” I said smiling and kissing him. “Stay.”

He looked at me, kissed me back, but shook his head. “Not tonight. I’m not sure I could keep my hands off you and I don’t want our first time to be like this, like that was the only reason I said it.”

“I don’t want you to go, I was going to ask you anyway…before.” I really did want him to stay, even just to sleep. “Please? Just to sleep, I promise not to take advantage of you,” I snickered.

“I’m not sure I have the self control,” he admitted bleakly. “I want you so badly.”

“Just stay, no promises either way, okay?” I asked, looking at him. “I really don’t want to be without you tonight.”

“Okay, I promised myself I was going to do things right with you,” he sighed, “but the thought of having you in my arms all night is too much to resist.”

“Sheesh, I practically have to beg you to sleep with me!” I laughed, and kissed him again.

Coming from a place that was hot and dry, snow was novel and exciting, and so very pretty. While my roommates complained about the draftiness of our dorm and having to scrape ice from their windshields I was usually stationed at the window, gazing at the snow fall.

Being on crutches had, however, put a damper on things.

I’d sprained my ankle during Christmas break. Sprained it bad – I had to wear a brace and hobble around on crutches for the next month or so. It was bad enough that showering and using the bathroom were now nuisances, but in addition my work study position had been given to someone else until I was able to walk. I’d been delivering TVs to classrooms. Now I was stuck looking for something I could do while sitting.

The whole thing was just a big frigging mess.

The cab that had picked me up from the train station came to a stop.

“Want me to help you inside?” My driver asked, eyeing me in the mirror.

I felt my face warm; I was really low on funds. “I-uh… that’s okay. I’ll manage.”

He huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to charge you, miss. Come on.”

—

My room was still freezing cold, even with the heater on full blast.

Sighing, I eased back on my bed, trying to ignore the loneliness I felt. Because none of us had thought to coordinate our return dates, I’d come back to school a full four days before anyone else. Heidi, Jane and Alice were all still in their respective hometowns.

A lump formed in my throat and I just knew I was going to cry. This was the pits.

I had no car, no one to talk to, and hardly any food in the mini-fridge.

And I was frigging disabled. Pity party time.

I picked up my phone to call Rose, a friend I’d made who actually lived nearby, but it went straight to voicemail.

Suddenly my phone rang, its shrill cry startling me.

“Hello?”

“Bella? Oh man, I’m so glad I caught you!”

“Alice?”

The connection was spotty; it was difficult to hear.

“Yeah, it’s Alice. Listen, are you back yet?”

“Yeah, I’m back.” And it sucks, I wanted to add.

“Are you doing anything yet?”

“What? No. No, I… actually I sprained my ankle back in Phoenix, so I’m kind of stuck.”

“What?!” she shrieked. “Oh, hell no. I’m on my way.”

Hope flickered warily inside my chest. “Are you sure? Because, that would be… great.”

“Of course I’m sure. I was going to head out tomorrow morning, you know – bring you home for the weekend – but I can’t leave you there tonight. No way, Jose.”

Her feistiness made me smile. “All right. Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“No worries. Okay, listen, I might be awhile because it’s snowing but I will come. I promise.”

“Take your time,” I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, see you soon.”

“Bye…”

“Hey, Bella!”

“What?”

“Edward’s glad you’re coming.”

“Oh really?”

“Really. Okay, bye for real this time.”

I could hear the smile in her voice. Edward was this kid she’d gone to high school with. One night Alice was on the phone with him and he’d overheard my voice as I asked Alice a question. We’d ended up chatting briefly and whenever he spoke to or emailed Alice afterward he told her to tell me “hi”.

It had become sort of a running theme, an inside joke, and I always made sure to send along my regards as well. One night Alice made Edward look at my Facebook while I

looked at his and the silly banter became silly flirting.

Once Alice and I hung up, I grabbed a book and settled back to kill time. It was very cool that I’d get to meet her friends, but honestly I was just relieved to be getting out of the

dorm. Alice lived in a little New Hampshire town called Nashua. I’d never been there, but she spoke fondly of it all the time and I knew that most of her friends were there on break as well.

Based on what she’d told me before, it only took about two and half to three hours to get from Nashua to Hempstead, depending on weather and traffic.

Opening my book, I got comfortable and started reading.

–

Alice blustered in to the room like a gust of winter air.

She rushed over, sprinkling snowflakes.

“My goodness, look at your leg! Oh, Bella,” she cried, hugging me tightly. “How did you do this?”

“It was so dumb,” I said, hugging her back. “We were just walking down the street and I stepped wrong.”

Alice stood back, shaking her head. “Only you.”

“No kidding. Did you come by yourself?”

“Hell no,” she said, nodding toward the hallway. “I got Peter out there, waiting. I wanted to make sure you were decent before bringing him in.”

“Of course I’m decent,” I snorted, struggling to get off the bed.

Alice helped me up, yelling for her brother to come and grab my bags. “Do you need to pee before we go? Cuz I do. I drank all this Dunkin’ Donuts on the way…”

“We don’t need details, Ally, just go.” Peter said, coming into our room. He smiled politely at me; we’d me briefly at the beginning of the school year. “You okay, Bella?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for coming out, I don’t know what I’d do…”

He nodded, slinging my duffel bags over his arm. “No problem. She’s been talking about bringing you home for weeks.”

Alice reappeared. “Damn straight. I missed you, girl.”

“I missed you too.”

With Peter on my left and Alice on my right we locked up and left. The hallway was almost kind of eerie; hardly any students had come back yet.

I paused once we reached the front door downstairs. There was a lot of tile and melted snow made it a slippery mess.

“I gotcha,” Peter said, thrusting my bags and crutches at Alice so he could better support me.

They’d parked illegally at the curb, so we didn’t have far to go.

Once inside, Alice turned up the heater and plugged in her iPod.

“Let’s get hot chocolate,” she said, twisting around in her seat so she could see me.

That sounded amazing.

The investigation into who Bella Swan was continued. My bosses were sure it was so I could find her, not knowing she was living in my apartment, so that was far from my goal. My goal was to find out if her parents were as innocent as they seemed, and if so, why were they killed?

“Be careful,” was Marie’s mantra whenever I would bring up details of my investigation to her, or ask her questions on how she managed to stay ahead of those searching for her. Finally one night she gave a small laugh. “Oh, I don’t think I managed to stay ahead of them. I’d say I ended up moving in with one of them, wouldn’t you?” My laughter mixed with hers at this comment.

There was one problem, however. Always before I would discuss the person I was searching for with my father. This was always done with the full knowledge of my boss, Mr. Slovak, who actually encouraged it. Dad had access to medical records and those had a tendency to follow a person. This case, though, I knew I couldn’t share. For even if the names were different, my father was sharp enough to put the pieces together and come up with Marie, and I couldn’t let that happen.

Which is why, a week after the investigation was handed over to me, I found myself lying to my father over lunch.

“Do you need any help with any cases now?” he asked while taking a large bite from bacon cheeseburger, the very kind of food my mother would have a fit over him eating.

“No, I’m doing fine,” I answered, avoiding his gaze while eating my salad.

“Can you tell me who you’re looking for?” he enquired, already picking up on the fact that I was avoiding his question.

This time I looked up and caught his eye. “No, sorry dad, not this time.” He just shrugged and changed the topic to how the Yankees were doing in the pennant race and if I thought the Red Sox would be able to beat them this year.

Everything was going along fine until Mr. Slovak walked by our table. “Ah, Carlisle, my old friend,” he called to my father, coming over to take his hand in a warm shake. “It is so good to see you again. I do hope your dear wife is well?”

“Yes, yes, she’s quite fine, old friend, how are you? I hope my son is still doing his job well?” he laughingly replied while standing from the table to embrace his friend and my boss.

“Oh, yes, he is a delight,” Mr. Slovak responded as he was waved into an empty chair by my father. “In fact, I have given him a most interesting case. A young woman who has proven to be quite slippery. Has he brought you in on the case yet?”

My father’s glare was quick and accusatory, but also questioning. Thankfully it also only lasted for a second as he turned back to his friend. “No, not yet. Are you asking for my help?”

“Edward,” Mr. Slovak chided, “I’m surprised at you. You know how imperative it is that we find this girl.” Turning back to my father his face changed from the happy look of greeting an old friend to one of frustration and sadness. “Such a sad story, this one. There is a large fortune waiting for her, but her parents were into illegal activities and so were violently murdered. Her father was even an officer of the law, and turned to dealing drugs. I understand he was murdered right in front of his daughter.”

As Mr. Slovak paused to look down and shake his head my father shot me another look. Marie? he mouthed, shock and dismay on his face, but he recovered and turned back, masking his features into a look of passing interest by the time Mr. Slovak looked up.

“Now the girl just runs from everyone and I have tasked your fine son to find her for me.” When he looked over at me he looked speculative. “Have you found any new leads?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine as if he were trying to read my every thought.

“Only that her parents actually seem innocent,” I offered. His eyes tightened slightly at the edges and it seemed he clenched his jaw, causing me to wonder if he knew the truth.

“But that is why they were so successful for so long, dear boy,” he retorted. “Only the truly guilty are so gifted at playing the innocent.”

“If that is so, then how do we prove their guilt?” I countered. “Or, how do you show a truly innocent person is innocent?” I could feel my arms now resting on the table, having pushed my salad away.

Mr. Slovak mirrored my position. “And that is why our legal system does not prove people innocent, as you know, but only proves the absence of a preponderance of guilt. Is it not so in science? You can prove no theory, only that the corollary is not true.”

“Yes, but when the evidence is circumstantial it is not admitted, therefore innocence is still presumed.” From the corner of my eye I could see my father lean back in his chair and watch our debate. Could he see that this was not merely a philosophical argument? Did he see the question that my mind now shouted to me?

“But that is because the jury is expected to believe the accused to be innocent and it is up to the prosecutor to prove guilt, but it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes guilt should be assumed of those who appear innocent, and innocence of those who appear guilty.”

“So I should presume the people in the files guilty, because of their seeming innocence? What does that tell me of others who would have me believe them innocent?” With that he sat back in his chair and I knew. He had always been larger than life, controlling an empire of lawyers, and through them judges, all in the name of justice. But whose justice?

“Well, yes, dear boy, you have a point,” he hedged. Fixing his eyes on me once again he said in a tone that was relaxed but with eyes that burned, “it is best you believe all to be innocent until you have proof otherwise, and even then some should not be investigated.” I only nodded, his warning had been received. Whether I would abide by it or not was something else entirely.

“And now, my dear friend,” Mr. Slovak said, his face once again the picture of amiability as he clapped my father on the shoulder while rising from his seat, “I must see to those I came with. It is always a pleasure, and Edward?” he added, still smiling but his eyes once again intense, “I expect to have a report on any new developments in your case on my desk Monday morning?”

Knowing I would have to hand over some of what I had found, I nodded, glad most of it was only proof of lack of evidence against them. Moderate bank statements and credit card bills that showed no extravagance. Still, he would expect more. Now I knew why Bella was always cautioning me to be careful.

And I wondered just how dirty was my boss?