August 9, 2010

Tanya gave Alice the option to stay or leave during my epidural. I nodded, letting her know either way was fine with me, knowing she couldn’t really stomach needles and predictably, she left.

“I’lll just go…go get you some more ice,” she said with a stutter, her eyes growing wide as Dr. Cullen started laying out all his equipment.

“Now, Mrs. Swan…” he started.

“Ms. Swan,” I emphasized, “but really, just call me Bella.” For some reason, it was important to me that he knew I was unmarried. Of course, this could work against me as well, he might think I’m some skank who got herself knocked up. Well, he’d be right for part of it at least.

A skank I was not.

I loved Mike, or I used to; he’d been only the second guy I’d ever slept with. By the end, it took all of this to happen for me to realize that I was just in love with the idea of being in love. As scared shitless as I was about raising a child on my own, I knew that I wouldn’t have done it any differently. I was anxious to meet my new family and I was thankful, not angry that it worked out the way it did. I was better off than most people in my situation and I was determined to make this work and not feel sorry for myself.

“Bella,” he said, caressing my name. I could hear the smile in his voice. Of course, I could have just imagined it, being in a post-pain surreal haze.

“I need you to slide to the edge of the bed and sit cross-legged. Lean towards Tanya, putting your head down. This helps to spread your spine out.” His voice was very soothing, and I found myself relaxing despite my own fear of needles and all things hospital. Tanya let me put my head in her soft chest and rubbed my shoulders.

“Tell me if you feel another contraction coming on sweetie,” she said. “I’ll talk you through it since Alice had to leave.”

I tensed up thinking how in the hell I was going to remain still through a contraction. “How long does this take?” I asked, my voice muffled by Tanya’s scrubs.

“Total? It takes about eight to ten minutes and another five to ten after that before all the pain is gone,” he said, his hands busy on my back, swabbing it with something cold, feeling the ridges in my spine with his warm fingers. I tried not to think about what his hands felt like on me as it made me think wildly inappropriate thoughts. It was as if he brought with him his own current. I felt the tell-tale signs of another contraction starting and quickly did the math in my head that concluded I would most likely have to sit through at least two contractions before he was done.

“Here comes one,” I squeaked out and immediately felt Tanya’s hands rubbing down my back and I concentrated on her soothing voice, telling me to focus on something other than the pain. I changed my mind and focused on Dr. Cullen’s movements, counting every touch I felt and where I felt it. This was the best distraction I could muster at the moment. I had not seen a wedding ring, but knew that could be indicative of nothing. Honestly, he was too good looking not to be taken. Mentally smacking myself for even venturing down this line of thought, my distraction slipped and all I could think about was the hurt.

The pain was definitely the worst so far, bringing tears to my eyes and vomit to my mouth. It would be such a party foul to throw up in front of this gorgeous doctor. Not that he probably hadn’t seen it before, but I was determined to suffer this without making a fool of myself. He waited until my contraction was gone before talking me through the next few crucial steps of actually administering the anesthesia.

I had to hand it to him, he got through almost everything before the next contraction hit and I complemented him on his speed.

“Thank you,” he chuckled. “After this one, you should feel a significant difference in your pain level.” I breathed through the pain as he taped me all up and adjusted my gown. I tried not to think about how he’d just spent the last ten minutes looking at my ass crack.

He’s a doctor, I told myself. He sees this twenty times a day at least. But still, the sooner I could get myself covered back up and lying on my side, the better. Tanya fussed, adjusting the belts so that we could once again hear the baby’s heartbeat, loud and strong on the monitor. At one point, it sounded like horses galloping. I wondered if it was true what they said about girls having faster heartbeats than boys.

Hearing my chid’s vitality, I smiled, knowing I was going to get to meet him or her before the day was out.

“I’m going to stay here with you for a few minutes, just to make sure you don’t have a reaction. Tanya is going to turn you over every so often so that the medicine evens out,” he explained. “How’s it going? Another contraction is starting,” he said, his eyes on the digital screen that showed the beginning of the bell curve. The Pitocin that Tanya had me on to counter-act the effects of the anesthesia had begun its work and my eyes rounded as I watched what looked like to be a massive contraction happen on the screen.

I felt nothing and in that moment, I was a little more than in love with Dr. Cullen.

“I feel nothing, I could kiss you,” I blurted out. He stared at me for a fraction of a second too long and the look we exchanged became heated before he recovered himself with a smile and I had to turn away with a blush.

“Just doing my job,” he said.

It felt really good, driving with Alice and Peter. They had the whole sibling banter thing going on, bickering playfully about everything from sports teams to music.

Peter was the more wry type, often shaking his head at Alice’s effervescence. You could tell the two were close though. For the first time I actually wished I’d known what it was like to have an older brother.

“You okay back there?” Alice asked for the tenth time.

“Just as okay as I was five minutes ago.”

Alice had brought a bunch of pillows with her from home. I had one beneath my leg and several behind my back. It was like being inside of a marshmallow.

“Just checkin’, just checkin’,” she said, waving her hand.

I reached up, giving her hair an affectionate tug.

According to her, we were making good time and were pretty close to Nashua. The snow had only gotten worse, but Peter was an apt driver and had the perfect vehicle for such weather – an SUV with four wheel drive and snow chains.

“Last rest stop till we get home; anyone have to go?” he asked.

I did, a little, but I didn’t feel like stopping. Maneuvering a public rest room on a freezing, snowy night with crutches was not my idea of fun. Alice replied in the negative as well

and we continued on, past the glowing lights of slower moving cars and the now bare branched trees lining the side of the road.

Her phone beeped. I heard her laugh quietly.

“What?”

“Jasper wants to know when we’ll be there so they can be ready. They want to get the new girl wasted.”

“Oh yeah. I’m sure I’ll be the life of the party, hopping on one leg.”

She turned around, making a face. “Whatever. We’ve all had breaks and sprains. I mean, it sucks but… it’s not like you can’t chill.”

I shrugged, adjusting one of my pillows. “Maybe.”

“Not maybe, definitely. Anyway…” Another beep drew her attention back to the phone. She grinned, thrusting it at me so I could see the text.

Cullen’s being a dick. He already called dibs.

“Is Cullen…Edward?”

She nodded, biting her lip as she pecked away at the keyboard.

I scrunched up my nose, but I liked the attention. How could I not? From what I’d seen via Facebook, Edward Cullen was pretty cute. He had a nice voice, too. Such things could be misleading normally, but Alice had assured me he was even more appealing in person.

“Well, Bella, welcome to the neighborhood,” Peter announced suddenly.

Alice tossed her phone aside and waggled her eyebrows. “You ready?”

“For what?”

“Psshh, whaddya mean ‘for what’? To have fun! C’mon, keep up.”

–

No sooner had Peter helped me into the house, the rest of the family descended upon me.

“Ah, Bella – we finally get to meet you!” An older version of Alice, just as petite and just as cute, swept me into her arms, careful not to topple me over. “Alice has told us so much about you!”

“Thanks for inviting me into your home, Mrs. Miller,” I said, giving her a one armed hug.

“Call me Mary,” she chided. “Peter, take her bags to Alice’s room.” She turned back to me, her apple red cheeks also reminding me of Alice. “I’m sorry we don’t have an available guest room… I’ve been using it for scrapbooking – “

“No one cares, Ma,” Alice interrupted, kissing her mother’s cheek. “I want Bella in my room anyway.”

“Seriously, it’s fine,” I agreed, overwhelmed with all of the warmth and homey-ness.

Alice’s father and little brother introduced themselves as well and then Alice whisked me to the living room.

“Okay. Are you hungry? Or do you just want to go?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said honestly.

“Of course she’s hungry,” Mary called from the kitchen. “Stop being such a terror, Alice – let the girl eat.”

Alice rolled her eyes, lowering her voice. “Her chicken pie is pretty badass. I’ll just tell the boys to pick us up at ten instead.”

–

Jasper Hale was Alice’s high school sweetheart. They had some sort of on and off thing going, although by the looks of things it was more ‘on’. He and another guy Mike picked us up from Alice’s, each of them shoving the other aside to help me into the car.

“You two are idiots,” Alice snapped, but I could tell she approved of their silliness.

She sat in the back with me, pointing out landmarks and old hang out spots as we passed them.

“Where’s Angie? She come out tonight?”

“She’s already there,” Mike said. “Cullen picked her up.”

My heart sank a little, which was dumb. I hoped “Cullen picking up Angie” was less significant than it sounded.

But Alice didn’t seem fazed. “Oh, okay. Nice. Did Em ever get the ounce?”

Jasper burst out laughing. “Yeah, he did, but not without some drama.”

He and Mike launched into a long and very animated tale about someone named Emmett and what he’d had to go through to score some weed. Alice was almost crying by the time they were finished and I had to admit, it was pretty funny. It made me nostalgic for my friends from back home; we had a similar dynamic.

Eventually we pulled up to an apartment complex.

Suddenly I had butterflies. Even if Edward was here with someone else, it was going to be… a moment for me. We’d been so effortlessly silly and flirty over the phone, and through Alice. What if we met now and it was all anti-climactic and awkward?

I hadn’t been this way before. The idea of Edward had been so vague, so far away. We lived in different states, attended different schools. I’d never even thought we’d meet; it

was all just for kicks and giggles. It meant nothing, really.

Except now I was meeting him.

I tried to tamp down the irrational panic that flared through me.

Mike opened my door and offered me his hand. I wasn’t sure, but I was getting a little bit of a vibe from him too. Great.

The night had only gotten colder. The snow was coming down in thick drifts, making me wonder if it was good that we’d left Alice’s house after all.

“Come on, come on,” Jasper said, locking the doors with his fob. He hurried to my side and between him and Mike I was practically lifted up the two flights of stairs, Alice

bouncing ahead to ring the doorbell.

The door swung open, assaulting me with the smell of pot. There were at least a dozen kids inside.

A particularly frosty gust of snowy air whipped by, making me, Mike and Jasper all shiver in unison.

The girl who’d opened the door stepped aside, letting us in. “Hi!”

“Hey, Jess,” Alice said, shutting the door behind us.

The room erupted into hellos and handshakes and general rowdiness. Everyone wanted to meet Alice’s friend, and I was helped around as introductions were made. Any reservations I’d had about meeting Alice’s old friends dissipated as I saw firsthand what a friendly bunch they were.

It took a minute, but then I saw him sitting on the couch. He was leaning forward, focusing intently on the joint he was rolling over the coffee table.

My mouth went a little dry.

Alice tugged me forward.

He glanced up and goodness gracious he was even better looking in person.

Much.

He smiled devilishly as he licked his joint from one end to the other, sealing it. “And there she is.”

“Hi,” I said, trying not to stutter from cold and nerves.

Alice led me closer, taking my crutches and sitting me beside Edward.

Edward Cullen’s hand is on my stomach. His fingers are softly pressing into my flesh and I am sort of dizzy thinking about the shit that would hit the fan if someone from work spotted us. Never mind the fact that I am dating Jacob Black, one of the Senior Vice Presidents in line to become one of the Executive Vice Presidents.

The crowd finally thins a little and I am able through some force of serendipity to extricate myself from the sexiness that is Edward Cullen touching me. He is truly a force of nature or sexuality or something else because I am drawn to him like Winnie the Pooh to the honey pot. I practically shiver at the thought of sitting next to him in my Mini all the way home. It is an hour’s drive at least and I know I’ll have to stop for a potty break along the way. Beer has that effect on my little peanut bladder.

“Over here,” I say pointing to my car.

We walk over and I throw all the stuff in the hatch while Edward stands beside me. He follows when I go to unlock his door and then I walk around to my side. When I geot in, it hits me like a brick wall…

Edward Cullen is in my car. Holy shit. Jacob would have a kitten if he knew.

But then again, this particular Cullen is a head-banging, mop-wielding youngster compared to the power suits that usually cavort around the C-suite at Cullen Enterprises. I feel a little better knowing what we were going to talk about.

“So Edward….” I start. “Why would someone with the company name be mopping floors in said company?”

He laughs which isn’t what I expect at all. The rumble of his laughter is a warm rich sound that reaches right into my chest and squeezes.

God he’s hot.

I creep out of the lot with the rest of the traffic as Edward explains how he came to be janitor-slash-slacker-son of Big Poppa Cullen. Apparently he had an attack of conscience, rebelling against his family’s wealth and disowning them in favor of meditation and nirvana-seeking humanitarian service. He joined the Peace Corps and was sent to South America for three years where he tried to improve water supplies and water safety in the transient communities surrounding Lima, Peru.

He discovered that his wealth might help a lot more than simply his poverty and good intentions so he began corresponding with his mother Esme. She was a lot more forgiving in welcoming Edward back to the fold than Poppa Cullen. Carlisle (a.k.a. Poppa Cullen) insisted that Edward work his way back up the food chain when he returned from South America to avoid any sense of unearned entitlement.

After Edward’s little tale of self-actualization, I sit in silent awe, mentally kicking myself for having been so judgmental. Nevertheless, I have to bust his chops a little. This is what we do in the corporate world. A girl’s gotta hang, you know.

“Which position comes next?” I tease. “Mail boy? Stock room clerk?”

“Actually school,” he says. “I need to finish my dgree and get that out of the way and then I get to start in sales. Not my favorite thing but my father says I have to prove myself after my little shindig in South America.”

I laugh. “You’ll have no problem in sales,” I say. “With your looks and cocky attitude and charm you’re going to do just fine.”

“Why thank you Miss Swan, for that glowing assessment,” he says sarcastically. “Nevermind that I actually might have some skills in my dossier.”

I think I really like his use of vocabulary and wonder why Jacob doesn’t titillate me this way. Jacob will even stutter sometimes!

I am smitten. I know that now and I’m growing increasingly concerned for the fate of the CFO/SVP (soon to be EVP) relationship I’ve cultivated with Jacob Black.

“And how did you navigate your way to the top, into the hearts and minds of Cullen and sons?” asks Edward.

“Sons?” I question.

“Well, you know Emmett, right?” he asks.

I had no fricking clue Emmett existed until Rosalie went slumming with him.

“Uh, no,” I say frankly.

“Emmett is my delightful younger brother who just graduated from the Wharton School of Business,” he says. I can tell he’s eagerly awaiting my reaction because his eyes are twinkling at me. He looks like one of those little boys that wreaks havoc all over the world just for the fun of it.

“Nice,” I say. “Wharton’s one of the best.”

“Yeah,” says Edward. “Dad’s glad to be bringing him into the fold.”

“What position?” I say, suddenly concerned for my longevity.

“No worries Bella,” he says laying a huge hand on my thigh and squeezing me to reassure. “He’s business development, not finance.”

“Well thank God for small favors,” I say.

“And what’s your Master’s going to be in Edward?” I ask. I sound like my friend’s dad who used to always ask about my education.

“Well, I do hate to correct you Miss Swan, but it will be my Doctorate in Business Ethics,” he says.

I have no response to that.

I think I just came all over the driver’s seat and am in serious danger of losing control of the Mini.