August 26, 2010

Jasper and I met at the Coast Guard station and trudged down towards the beach, setting up our chairs behind the tide line in the sand. The waves looked decent and I wondered if there was hurricane somewhere out in the Atlantic causing the high level of surf.

“Nah, dude,” Jasper said when I asked him about it. “As long as the tide is coming in, the waves are good. Probably not big enough to really surf, like in California or anything, but decent for boarding and body surfing.”

I grinned at him and ran down towards the water.

We messed around for a while and I was able to cut some real arcs in the water sliding around on my boogie board. At one point, having lost track of time, I looked up reflexively to check for Alice and I saw her and Bella sitting in their chairs, laid back and talking.

Bella’s almost naked body was on display and I gave a mental fist bump to Jasper for suggesting our outing. From her first spectacular entrance into my life mere hours ago I was intrigued by this seemingly shy, coltish girl. She and Jasper were obviously just friends as Jasper’s eyes hadn’t really left my sister since they met. Which sort of grossed me out and raised my protective instincts at the same time, but I was willing to set those conflicting emotions aside in favor of getting to know Bella better.

I had watched her all through lunch, her expressions, her reactions and felt myself constantly wondering what was going through her head. Our eyes would meet and I tried to dissect her thoughts to no avail. Other than the attraction between us that was obvious, her mind remained closed, and so I contented myself with watching her movements. She would worry her lip, she would constantly push her hair behind her ears, the way she’d look down at the table, blushing about something Jasper had said. All of it was fascinating and I found myself wanting to get to know her better.

“Hey,” I called to Jasper. “The girls are here.”

“Hot damn!” Jasper said and I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Dude, that’s my sister.”

“Sorry,” he smirked, shrugging his shoulders, and not looking apologetic in the least. I just shoved him, laughing with him as we made our way up to camp.

The sun was going down but I grabbed my sunglasses from my chair anyway, toweling off and putting them on. The sunglasses were a great way to stare at Bella without her knowing for sure I was doing it. I was sure she’d see right through that, but I wanted to study her without making her uncomfortable. The four of us sat and talked and laughed for a few hours, eventually texting our parents, begging to be able to stay until dark and get dinner out.

“Speaking of dinner, I’m starving,” I said.

“You’ll survive, brother dear,” Alice laughed at me.

“We can walk down to the hotel and get something if you want,” Bella said shyly. “They have a bar and a restaurant with everything, we can get it to go and eat on the beach.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I grinned. I grabbed my tee shirt and pulled it on as I watched Bella stand up and then lean over to get her shorts. Her ass, barely covered by the polka dots looked awesome as she leaned away from me. I wanted to touch her, but something told me that wouldn’t be a good idea.

Instead I offered my arm to her, knowing she should be treated nicely and with respect. “Shall we milady?” I laughed.

She snorted, “Why of course, kind sir.”

Jasper and Alice followed behind us as we walked the length of the beach down to the hotel, lost in their own conversation. Now was my chance to ask her some questions about herself. Simultaneously she started to ask me something.

“So…” she started.

“Um…” I began.

We both laughed at the awkwardness. “Ladies first,” I said, indicating with my hand that she should speak.

“I was going to ask what you thought about our little island. I know Jacksonville is much bigger.”

“Yeah, it is, but not by much, or at least it doesn’t feel that way. The beach town there is similar, especially for the locals, but it isn’t its own island, so that makes this place smaller to begin with, less people on an island in general,” I said.

“So, do you like it here? It isn’t too exciting.” She watched her feet as she walked, I assumed so that she wouldn’t trip or step on a beached jellyfish.

“I do. I like that we get a chance to start over you know? Get to know some new people. Stuff had become sort of stifling back in Florida and it is great to get away from all that,” I said.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you gonna miss your friends?” she asked, perplexed.

How to explain this to her without seeming like a pretentious ass?

“Well, the friends that we had back there…we’d all grown up together, knew each other in and out. It had become so routine, so boring. And plus, my ex-girlfriend was so…what’s the word? Possessive.” I knew for sure Bella would run for the hills with this type of information, but alas, my verbal dump continued.

“Chelsea wanted me as a possession, not as someone…to love.” I stole a sideways glance at her. “She liked the fact that my dad was the Chief of Staff at the hospital, and she liked the fact that my mom hosted the charity balls every year. I just kinda got fed up with it and we broke up. Alice was thrilled, at least, but it was awkward, you know?”

“I can totally understand that. You have this set group of people and then when the dynamic changes, people take sides and things fall apart,” she said.

“Yes, exactly.” Bella totally got me. “So, you don’t think I’m running away from anything?”

“It doesn’t sound like it. Sounds more like you are just changing your situation,” she remarked. “Although, I doubt you had a lot to do with your dad getting a new job, and why he thought coming to an even smaller ‘pond’ so to speak was gonna help you socially, I’ll never know.” Bella snorted while she said that and I laughed.

“Yeah, well, he wanted to slow down some. Alice and I will leave for college next summer and he and my mom wanted to be able to not have to work quite as hard. Besides, so far, the company has been great.”

She stole a look up at me and I was able to give her my signature smile. I really liked Bella, she was so different from the other girls I’d dated. I felt like I could tell her anything and she’d get it.

“So, tell me about you…” I started. “What makes Bella’s world go ‘round?”

“Hmm…not much, unfortunately.”

“Come on, tell me your life story in a nutshell,” I teased. “We’ve got…three minutes before we reach the hotel,” I estimated, looking down the beach to the Spanish tiled, stucco covered hotel.

“Well, I’ve lived here since I was three, that’s when I met Jasper, at preschool. My mom teaches kindergarten and my dad is the police chief. He grew up in Brunswick, went through his training there and we moved here when he got his job,” she explained.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” I asked.

“Nope, just me.”

“So what are your plans next year?” I asked.

“College, although wether or not I stay in state is up for grabs. If I stay in Georgia, I’ll have the Hope Scholarship, if not…money will be an issue,” she said honestly.

“What do you want to study?”

“I really want to study journalism, so we will see where that takes me.”

We approached the gate for the hotel and I opened it for her, allowing her to go first. She gave me a smile as she walked past me and my heart constricted a little. She was so beautiful and from what I could see, had absolutely no idea.

We stood against the railing together while we waited for our food, looking up at the stars. The moon was quite bright and for a little bit we couldn’t see any, but a cloud passed in front and my eyes adjusted revealing the spots of light.

“Starlight, star bright,” she mused quietly to herself.

“Making a wish?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Her mouth dissolved into a little grin.

“Tell me,” I said, turning to face her, resting my elbow on the railing.

“As if! If I tell you, it won’t come true!”

“Well, that’s true,” I said. “What if I could guarantee you that it would come true?”

“Kinda cocky aren’t you?”

“Try me.”

“Oh no, Mr. Cullen, you’re gonna have to work a little harder than that.”

“Why do you say that?”

He stepped close again, like he could decide if there should be space between us or not.

“Because. We met two days ago and I’m sort of freaking out you’ll be gone tomorrow night.”

Relief washed over me.

And then sadness. Because he was right. “Me too.”

He bent his head, kissing me again, slower this time. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, liking the way it slid so soft between my fingers. His nose was cold, and I felt
it every time he brushed my cheek with it. His mouth tasted good.

“Want me to drive you guys back?” he asked suddenly, breaking the kiss with his words.

I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to do that. But that was such bull because really, he knew he didn’t have to. He wanted to, and I wanted him to. He watched me, probably knowing what I was thinking from the expression on my face.

“Yeah, I would.”

“Then I will.”

“When are you driving back to Amherst?” I asked, closing my eyes and rubbing my cheek against his.

“Monday morning. If I can get out… my mom gets clingy around this time.”

“Aww,” I grinned, looking at him. He was so cute. His poor mother.

“Yeah, yeah. You’d think she’d be happy to be rid of me but no.”

Shivering, I slipped my hands back into Edward’s jacket pockets.

“I shouldn’t even have you out here like this,” he said, looking concerned. “It’s freezing; your cheeks are bright red.”

“Maybe that’s from you,” I teased.

He smirked. “Yeah, right.”

We kissed again and might have continued had a snowball not com and smashed Edward’s arm.

“Emmett!” he growled, shaking his head.

Sure enough, Emmett’s hysterical laugh rumbled through the leaves. “Cockblocked by McCarty, suckas!”

I bit my lip, giggling at the ridiculousness. Alice and Jasper emerged from the trees, smiling at us.

“Seriously. Get a room,” Emmett continued, bending down to scoop more snow into his hands.

But Edward was faster. He handed me my crutches and threw together a snowball in seconds.

“Em.”

Emmett looked up as a snowball sailed right into his face.

–

Understanding that Edward and I craved time together, Alice and Jasper dropped their remaining pretenses as buffers. Anyway, they wanted to be alone too.

So, after eating at – you guessed it – another diner (a mom and pop shop this time) we separated, promising to reconvene at twelve

There wasn’t all that much to do in Nashua. We drove around, and he showed me hang out spots and things their group of friends had done in high school. It wasn’t a small town,
per se, but a heck of a lot smaller than Phoenix. I kind of liked its mellow feel, like the way the roads curved and wound around, the way the now leafless trees hugged each corner.

“Do you want to catch a movie?” he asked, slowing as we neared the cinema.

“Sure.” I shrugged, nodding.

He pulled into the parking lot and we made our way slowly indoors, breathing a sigh of relief at the warmth and the smell of popcorn.

In the darkened theater, I let out a laugh.

Edward helped me with my crutches and we sat down, balancing all the junk food we’d just bought.

“What?”

“Feels like we’re back in high school,” I admitted.

“Well,” he emptied a handful of popcorn into his, mouth, “technically we’ve only been out of high school for a few months.”

“I know. But… I like this. This is what it would’ve been like…” I trailed off, glad the darkness was concealing my fiery cheeks. What was it about him that made me so trusting? I
wasn’t going to see him for God-knew-how long after the next day; I should be guarding my heart not laying it out there.

But he swallowed and smiled. Took a sip of soda. Put his arm around me like he seemed fond of doing.

“This is what it would’ve been like,” he assured me. “I would’ve taken you to prom, too.”

“Who’d you go with?”

“Jessica Stanley.”

Jealousy gripped my gut. I hadn’t realized… “Oh.”

He watched me, still smiling. “We went as friends, Bella. It was never even like that.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” I lied. “We barely know each other.” I paused, frowning. “Wait, I don’t mean it like that – “

“I know what you mean. And no, I don’t have to explain but I want to. I want you to know me.”

“Why?” I whispered. It all felt too good to be true.

“Don’t know. But I want to know you too.”

The lights dimmed further and the previews stated, silencing our conversation.

On the armrest between us, our buttery fingers entwined.

–

Alice seemed pleased that Edward was driving us. She finally gotten Jasper to agree to the trip, too. I liked Jasper, really, but I was having a rough time figuring him out. When he
was with Alice, it’s like his eyes shone for her. But when they were apart, Alice never mentioned him. At all. There were no pictures of him stuck above her desk – back at Hofstra or
here in her home – and no whispered late night phone calls when we were in bed.

And now that we were headed back he seemed reluctant get into the car.

“What is with him?” I asked Alice, as we stood in her bedroom. She swept her eyes across the floor, making sure we hadn’t forgotten anything.

“He’s mad at me,” she said finally, turning off the light.

“Why?”

“He wants me to stay.”

I blinked, surprised. I’d always assumed that Jasper had been the one with the upper hand but perhaps it was Alice.

“Why… doesn’t he …”

“He goes to school here. Community college. His mom couldn’t afford to send him anywhere else…”

“I know how that goes,” I sighed. Had it not been for my full scholarship, I’d be stuck in Phoenix.

“Yeah… we sort of just…agreed. That it would be best if we didn’t, like, strain our relationship by doing the long distance thing. No expectations, no disappointments.” Her voice
wavered.

“But it’s not working, is it?”I asked softly, letting her help me down the stairs.

“No,” she cried quietly.

I felt awful for her, but we were just about downstairs and the boys were right outside. She wiped her eyes and ducked into the downstairs bathroom while I continued on to the front
door.

Edward and Jasper were chatting with Alice’s mother in the kitchen. They turned when they saw me.

“Where’s Ali?” Jasper asked, looking behind me.

Maybe my face said it all, because his shoulders sagged and he edged out of the kitchen to find her.

Edward shook his head, reaching for my bag on the ground. “They do this every time, I swear.”

I hugged Alice’s mother, who was starting to cry too, and headed out to the car with Edward.

Being winter, the sun had already gone down and I gazed up at the sky, looking to see if any stars had come out yet. I loved this time, when the night was still soft, the blue going
deeper as it rose higher.

“Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.”

Edward leaned forward, kissing my cheek. “What are you going to wish for?”

I took his face between my hands and kissed him soundly.

I didn’t say it out loud, but I thought it, hoping that was good enough.

I wish Edward and I could make this work.

Anna was nine years old—soundly, she slept in her cottage on the top of hill, cozied beneath sheets of teal and white checkers. In her room, faded, plastic yellow stars adorned the ceiling. A poster of a star chart informed her wall.
Her adopted father, Professor Torres, sat just outside her room in the back yard.
His job had directed them to a remote location in the Canary Islands. He undertook a study in the middle of the night while surrounded by a vacant atmosphere.
From a bastion, he peered through a refractor telescope. His focus rested on a propitious Northern Hemisphere, and every few minutes, he juxtaposed his two sights: one from an ardent—though blunt—eye, and the other from the keen apparatus. Once he’d gathered enough perspective, he reclined in his chair, sunk into the cushion, and pensively drifted away in contemplation.
Torres opened his eyes, and much to his surprise, Anna stared at nearly a foot in proximity.
“Hah!” he yelped.
“Eeek!” she screeched.
Anna, awakened from a nightmare, was equaled disturbed. She tightly clinched her doll, and in a gentle, tremulous voice, she spoke.
“I’m sowwy. I had a bad dweem. I didn’t know whea you wuh!”
As Torres heard Anna’s infantile lisp, his guard dissolved; or rather, the girl’s disposition had melted his rigid heart.
Since their union, each day together repaired their broken spirits. His guidance provided encouragement to counter her diffidence; on the contrary, her innocent nature purified his adamant demeanor. In each moment he cared for this young girl, he spawned another memory to cherish.
“Ehm—I,” he said with a nervous stammer. “I’m watching a man.”
Her head perched on her shoulder, and she impatiently twisted her body from side to side.
“A man? Wheah?”
Torres humbly looked at the child and smiled through his eyes. He lifted his left arm. At the end, he balled his fist. When Anna was attentive, he raised a single, pregnant finger. She gazed, impassioned by the mysterious motion, and her immature imagination began to soar—“what’s in his hand? Is this magic? I wonder if it’s something alive!” she thought.
Torres then revolved his chair to lead Anna’s sight to one particular constellation.
A moment passed, and she cringed.
“Weal, what’s he do-wing?”
Without hesitation, Torres constituted a chuckle in three, high-pitched patters, deeply inhaled, and pragmatically replied, “Well, that’s Auriga!”
Anna’s eyebrows offered retort.
Torres drew a line with his fingers—a tail, a round body, and an outlying dash.
“Auriga,” he cordially restated. “Can you say that—Auh-rye-gah?”
Auriga watched in favor. As it listened, the constellation intensified to behold them—a few years ago, it’d lost its spectacles.
Anna opened her mouth, but hesitantly looked back at Torres to judge his expression. He nodded in approval. As he waited for her response, he manifested an efficient idea that would be something fun for the girl and also an efficient way to return her to bed.
“Aw-why-guh,” she repeated.
“Good, good, good” he said. “That man up there—he’s riding into town, on his chariot—to the market to get food for his goats. Now it’s a hard road, with lots of rocks, and this man is having all sorts of trouble trying to hold on so that he doesn’t fall out!”
Torres grabbed her ankle with one hand, shook his sternum, and construed a compellation of sound effects.
“Bump, bump, bump, bump,” he uttered. Anna, impressed by the abrupt movement, giggled and latched on to his arm. While she was close, Torres playfully lifted her up and over his shoulder while her legs rested upon his chest. She squawked with laughter.
“He held on with one hand, because he carried a goat during the whole ride!”
“I’m not a goat!” Anna said, full of enthusiasm.
Once in Anna’s room, Torres switched on a small lamp. He carefully took Anna from over his shoulder, helped her into bed, and folded the sheets to her chin.
He sat down beside her and glanced at her poster of a star chart. When Anna saw him, she pondered about “grown-up” thoughts.
“Say moa about the man in the stawz! … Aw-why-guh.”
Unsure, he asked, “What would like to know?”
“…Did he have a mommy and daddy?”
Torres hesitantly considered her question. Stricken at first, he began to reflect on his own development through life. He remembered his parents. The obstacles pained him, but their passing invigorated a defiant resolve. The girl’s resilient past would merge with his own; he would vocalize his story—and he and Anna would learn together.
“He had two parents, sweetheart—a mommy and a daddy. Both were very different. Before he was born, his daddy—named Hephaestus—was a great blacksmith. He made swords, for mighty warriors—and armor, for brave heroes. He even made nice chairs for royalty. All he wanted to do with his time—was to makebeautiful things! So, one day—Hephaestus decided to make himself a powerfulweapon of fire. It was so amazing, and he bragged about it to his friends. In fact, he bragged so much, that one friend decided to take it from him.”
“Was he mayd?”
“He was furious! But the mommy didn’t care about the lost trophy—she wanted to do more than make things. She had always said that beauty was on the inside. In her free time, she gave charity to people; she made food for the hungry; and she provided shelter for the homeless.”
Anna blinked more frequently. The girl was unduly inquisitive yet lulled by the story. Torres noticed—astonished she’d gotten this far—but nevertheless, he would finish.
“Obviously, the mommy and the daddy didn’t always get along. Their goals were completely different, and their opinions were entirely one-sided. Luckily, they had a son—named Auriga.
“Stawlight, star bwight,” she mused.
“He saw what made them happy, but he also saw what made them sad—neither wanted to learn from the other. As a result, he promised that when he grew up—he would work extra hard and follow his heart. So he took what he learned from his father, he made a magnificent horse-drawn chariot. He spent hours shaping metal—using fire—and creating a wheel. When he was finished, he knew his accomplishment was all the award that he needed. So instead of being rich or famous, he offered his discovery to anyone who needed it. The people loved him so much for gifts—that one day—they asked him to be their king. he accepted, amazed to find that his power came from within. But when people worshiped him, he asked them to stop. ‘My people,’ he said, ‘it takes a king to see a king.’”
Immersed in his story, Torres magnanimously elevated his arms to portray an illustrious king.
Meanwhile, the gentle girl had fallen asleep. He smiled. She is only nine, after all.
“There… That’s the heart,” he said. “She’ll see it too one day.”
Torres kissed the angel on the forehand and then returned to his work.