September 1, 2010

I leafed through the album with great care as it seemed that it was on the verge of disintegrating in my hands. The binding was soft and the sheets yellowed from time. Each of the sepia toned photographs bore the damage caused by time, with cracks running through each picture.

I came across a page that held a large photograph of a group of people; a wedding party. The bride and groom stood in the middle, with the rest of the members of the party surrounding them. I squinted to examine the faded faces of the persons whose images were preserved. The bride looked just like Alice. That must have been her grandmother. She seemed tiny compared to the massive man that held her in his arms. Her groom’s mustachioed face gave the impression of a strong and powerful man.

I found it curious that despite what looked like a happy occasion, the people in the picture weren’t smiling as cheerfully as you would expect. I scanned the rest of the faces, not recognizing anyone in particular. Right at the very end of the group, just at torn edge of the photograph, I saw someone that struck me. He was the tallest of the group. He wasn’t smiling either. But it was his eyes that struck me the most. They seemed almost piercing. The contrast of the dark irises against the brownish hued paper made them seem to jump off the page.

I examined his face closely. A nagging feeling came over me, like I had seen him from somewhere. Although I had no inkling of who he was, or how he might have been connected to this family.

He was quite handsome and almost aristocratic in his demeanor. It was crazy that I was picking so much up from a piece of paper from long ago.

My thoughts were interrupted by the door being opened from outside. I quickly closed the album and carefully put it back under the oriental coffee table from where I picked it up originally. Alice still hadn’t come down from her room, so I re-arranged my position on the sofa.

The front door swung open and there stood a man that was surprised to find someone waiting inside his house. It was the man in the picture. A frown was on his face.

“Who are you?” he asked with disdain.

“I’m Isabella, Alice’s friend,” I answered meekly, wanting to get out of the room. His demeanor was so unwelcoming and distrustful. Shaking it off, I stood and offered my hand to shake.

He walked further into the room and took my hand lightly. “I’m Edward, Alice’s evil brother.” He tried to crack a smile, but wasn’t successful.

I wasn’t sure if he was joking, but for politeness sake, I just smiled.

School was interminable until lunch when I would see Bella again. They had all started talking amongst themselves like clucking hens when she had emerged from the front seat of my car, expressed shock when Alice had hugged her, and gone silent when I had come around and taken her hand, earning a blushing smile. Now she was the talk of the school for a wholly different reason than just her arrival. The girls were all wondering how she had snagged me, the boys how they could snag her back.

I had chuckled at that. Like they stood a chance. She was my mate, even if she didn’t know it yet, and when the time was right I would make it so she would be with me forever.

Now I was waiting outside of her Spanish class where the girl Jessica was already thinking about all the questions she wanted to ask. Looking through her eyes I could tell that Bella was pretending to pay close attention to Mrs. Goff, but the blush on her face gave her away.

The bell had rung thirty seconds ago, allowing me to rush across the school, going down passages the other students were unfamiliar with. However, Mrs. Goff was still calling out what the assignment would be, and Bella was carefully writing it down.

“Bella, it’s lunch, let’s go,” Jessica whined, “or are you planning on eating with Edward?” Her face reddened even more at that and my heart soared at that response. Hmm, she certainly looks hopeful Jessica mused, and I was hopeful she was right.

“I don’t know,” she responded quietly, before getting a small smile on her face. “He doesn’t seem to eat very much.”

I would need to do something about that, and cringed at the thought. My reaction caused some of the students who were skirting around me to look around to figure out what I was reacting to, since I was normally so unflappable. I could hear Alice laughing in her thoughts, sending me images of me hunched over, expelling the vile stuff teenaged humans considered sustenance. To keep Bella in the dark, it would be worth it. The last thing I wanted was the Volturi finding out I was courting a human.

Her scent billowed out in front of her as she neared the door of the classroom, having finally been released from class. I dared not look in her direction, not wanting to appear too eager, in spite of the fact that I was standing here, waiting for her. Only at the sound of her gasp at seeing me did I turn and smile at her.

“Mrs. Goff held your class,” was all I said in greeting, smiling down at her. Her eyes seemed to gloss over for a moment and her breathing stopped. “Bella?” I called, somewhat alarmed by her reaction.

She shook her head as if dislodging a thought as Jessica giggled in hers. No wonder she seems dazed, that smile would take me out. Ah, so that was the problem? My smile grew larger at that, especially in combination with taking her hand.

When we arrived I was surprised to note that Emmett’s mind was in turmoil. Normally he was like looking into a clear pond, nothing hidden, but now it was as if he were hiding something from me. Cocking an eyebrow in his direction I waited for him to notice me, knowing it wouldn’t be long. Sure enough, seconds later he glanced toward me and winced. It’s Rosalie, bro. She’s not too happy about this. I just nodded in his direction to let him know I understood.

Loading the tray with food I kept an eye on her. She was looking down for the most part, but whispered conversations and pointing fingers drew her attention, causing that warm flush of blood to heat her face, in turn causing the venom to pool in my mouth.

Edward, do you need help? I heard Alice’s thought call across the room, before being followed by a I guess not as she saw me swallow the venom down. The she laughed, Don’t break the tray. With a sigh I glared over at her but was returned to the girl at my side by the touch of her warm, fragrant hand.

“Are you all right?”she asked quietly, her brows drawn together in concern.

“Fine,” I smiled. “Alice is being annoying.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t listen in on her thoughts then,” she said so quietly that she couldn’t have expected me to have heard, but I had. Shock went through my body, pinning my feet to the floor in such a way that had never occurred since my transformation. She glanced up to me then with a knowing smile. “Hmm, so I am right?”

I just shook my head as my siblings started laughing amongst themselves, taking bets on how long it would be before we had to kill the girl to protect our secret, or change her. Alice was busy trying to convince them we were safe, but Rosalie wasn’t buying it.

“I don’t know why you’re buying so much food, it’s not like you ever eat it,” the girl continued, still speaking under her breath, but now I was sure she was positive I could hear her. Her eyes came off of where she was staring into the distance and fixed me with a knowing look. “What I’m wondering is how long it will be before you tell me what you really are.”

That silenced my family as they waited for my reply. “I’m a hungry boy, Bella,” I told her, the words not really a lie since I hadn’t told her what I was hungry for. “That’s what I am.”

Her eyes narrowed as we stepped up to the cashier, and I found myself having to reach over her to pay, eliciting another huff of frustration from her. “I’m also a gentleman, so please?” She just shook her head and walked toward an empty table, and I happily took the seat beside her.

In an attempt to keep up the charade I picked up a piece of something slimy with grease and popped it into my mouth. It was truly horrible as I chewed, and my stomach was already clenching in preparation of ridding me of it. She just smirked. “You look as if someone just forced you to eat brussel sprouts.” Her giggle was infectious.

Looking down to ascertain what I had eaten I grimaced. “Well, I’m not a big fan of pizza.”

“Sure you’re not, because you’re not human.” She picked up the food I had discarded and took a bite, raising an eyebrow as if inviting me to challenge her statement.

“What you really should be worried about is if I’m really a gentleman,” I told her, drawing forth that blush I was growing to adore.

Circles

I petulantly sat behind the wheel of my fishing boat, arms crossed, and waited for my friend David. Ahead, he slowly took his time to start his 1975 Ford F-250. I shielded my eyes from the sun and peeked over the bow. A young woman had passed and he’d begun a conversion. I had to hand it to him—he was a real slice of life. He flicked his shaggy hair as he smiled at her. Disappointed, I wondered about his natural appeal to women. It was just a spastic movement—at least, they could ask him to hold still while he talked. Once he received her phone number, she’d surely join us on our next adventure.

David waved her goodbye, and he turned his head to check if any mud had splattered to blotch his new paint job—rather than if the boat was correctly centered to be pulled up the ramp. After a couple clicks of his engine, his truck started, roaring with hope.

I clinched my teeth and the truck lurched ahead. The boat jerked forward and its trailer rattled out of the water. As expected, the boat retained water too much water. David had forgotten to unplug the relief hole—after asking him twice already. Reluctantly, I completed the job. Excess water gushed out, joining torrential dripping sounds in one loud deluge. The water silenced in a decrescendo, and David peered at me through the truck’s rear-view mirror.

“Dave—we’re good!” I affirmed. And it was a good time.

I returned to the ramp a few years later; it was during a fog. Two college buddies came with me for a Labor Day weekend.

Tom, my ecstatic roommate, needed the trip. Beforehand, I told him stories about fishing, fresh air, and lovely country girls. Without a little experience, we both knew he’d stay locked up in his dorm throughout school to graduate into a similar, underground career. He was a brilliant engineer with amazing potential—but a geek to say the least. We sometimes joked about his childhood in his grandma’s basement, and about how he’d return there before the age of thirty-five. Still, his head was in a place that most of us only dream of achieving.

Allan, the most ambitious of us, regretted the decision. Just before the trip, he hooked up with a cheerleader and he preferred that he ask to meet her family. Of course, I’d talked some reason to him. “First, you made a promise, you knucklehead,” I’d said, “and second—needy and creepy, pal. You’re not either, right?” He simply grumbled and silently accepted my advice.

As for me, my life was perfectly arranged for law school. My girlfriend of three years, Betty—she would join me at Virginia Law in the next fall season. Whenever I saw the stars, I saw her face, as if fate always looked down on me with favor. She was smart and beautiful, and we both coordinated our futures together.

As I sat in my fishing boat, I signaled for Allan to turn the wheel of his 1980 Chevy Fleetside. “C’mon, you’ll send me into the wall!” I shouted. He fixed the boat’s trajectory. But as I returned to sit down in the captain’s chair, I saw a peculiar sight in the distance and waited for the fog to allow a better glimpse. A small, blue hunting tent ruffled by the edge of the water—as if a wild animal was inside.

“Hey—hey!” Tom shouted at me from Allan’s passenger seat. I waved him away.

A grizzly, dark-haired man—looked 35, maybe 40—stumbled out of the tent in a pair of jeans, no shoes, and no shirt. In one arm was a large bottle, and it didn’t look like a two-liter soft drink. In the other—was a long stick? He mumbled under his breath and kicked at something in the grass. He glanced under foot, and his mumbles augmented into a bellow.

“BAP.” My fishing boat floated into the wall of the ramp. Tom had unlatched me and Allan roughly pulled forward to go park the truck. I separated the boat from the wall before any actual damage occurred. After a few seconds, Tom climbed in the boat. “What were you doing?” he asked.

“Lucy! Dammit—Lucy!”

Now, Tom and I both observed the man. I placed a finger to my lips for Tom to watch and remain silent. In the silence, I distinguished another low voice. Infuriated, the grizzly man took the bottle and flung it violently at his tent.

What happened next occurred in a flash. In a soldierly, sober movement, he took his long object and aimed it at an ethereal foe over the water. This was a rifle.

“BAM! … POW! …” Like a keen sniper, he moved his sight gracefully over the water. He fired round, after round, after round. He was an insurgent, a shabby madman, battling an army of evil spirits in the fog—the likes of which we’d never know. The shots neared our direction.

Then, they ceased, and the fog concealed the aggressor. Allan approached us in a hurry and stood on the ledge of the dock.

“Did you hear all that?” he asked, in a stale panic.

“POW!—zoot,” and shards of wood exploded under Allan’s feet. He screamed as he fell into the water. Surfacing, he swiped at the boat; he forgotten he could swim. His chaotic arms made him difficult to grip or hoist, but we pulled him up into the boat, and like a drenched cat, he clung to the boat while deeply hyperventilating.

“What… the… fuck!” he spat, and suddenly, he checked for gunshot wounds. Allan then rested his hands over his head, unable to cope with the reality of the situation.

I returned my attention to the fog; it had cleared to show the woods in the background of the tent. However, they no longer seemed important. The grizzly man was motionless, and antagonized, he directly aimed for my head.

“Fucking—snakes!” he angrily yelled. “BOM!”

I hit the deck as another bullet whizzed over my head. Allan started to cry on the floor, and Tom started the boat from a crouched position. “Let’s get the hell outta here!” Tom said. The engine turned and sputtered to a start.

Fortified, I peeked over the bow. The grizzled man, unarmed, writhed in agony; he tore at his oily, deadlocked hair, and vehemently kicked the air. We were pawns in his regal war.

The fog thickened—the heaviest cloud yet—and my old fishing boat ran more smoothly than ever before. A surge of water rose behind the boat, we hit top speed, and the excitement was left behind in the fog.

All we saw from the distance were feint lights of blue and red, oscillating until we rounded the bend. In the midst of the silent echo of police sirens, a short spread of multiple gunshots sounded—like a fleeting, heavy rain—but more like a firing squad.

We all agreed that we heard it. Allan nodded to concur, because his voice would be overwhelmed by the discordant chatter of a shivering jaw. I swore that the fog passed once more, and Tom conceded. But later, he explained how my heightened emotions produced a painful flashback. Still, the memory was lucid: I saw the grizzled man as he stood on a promontory—without a gun or a drug in his hand—and he watched me sail away. At this point, I surmise that Tom was right. I searched the papers but found no evidence; if it was my old friend David, he was saying goodbye. He told me that this was his time and that his passion for life had worn thin.

That’s my solace: A good man had served his purpose and received his fair slice of life, and he knew that his time had arrived to return to the unruly, yet amiable force which bares us all.

The drive back to New York was actually pretty pleasant and uneventful. Edward and I chatted up front, keeping the music at a relatively loud volume to give Alice and Jasper, who were cuddling and talking quietly in the back, some semblance of privacy.

The snow had stopped, leaving the side of the road and trees blanketed in white. We stopped just once at Dunkin Donuts – per Alice’s request –to grab hot lattes and donuts and then continued on our way.

The best part of my trip to Nashua was that Edward and I got the chance to know one another. We’d had conversations that had spanned hours and I felt confident that we’d be able to easily keep in touch, even if we decided to hold off on exclusivity until our situation was more conducive to it.

Of course I was hoping for the romance though. I just wanted to be prepared for whatever we decided when all was said and done. Edward and I had discussed the pros and cons of dating long distance and after seeing what Alice and Jasper were going through we wanted to make sure we made the best choice.

Jasper and Alice carried our stuff to the dorm room while Edward carried me on his back.

“Do you want to grab dinner before they have to leave?” Alice asked.

Truthfully, I was a little tired. I looked at Edward, who didn’t look like he wanted to go either. “I think we’ll just relax here… but you guys can go ahead.”

Edward tossed his keys to Jasper and they left.

“I’m exhausted,” he confessed, lying next to me on my narrow little bed.

“Me too. “

I reached over and docked my iPod, turning it to a mellow song I liked.

“So you’re going back to BU soon, huh?”

“Yep. And I have that snowboarding competition coming up in Colorado soon too.”

“Will it be televised?” I ask, easing on to my side so I could look at him.

He nodded. “I can… let you know what channel when I find out.”

“Yes. Promise me you will.”

“I promise.”

“So you’re really good, then?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugged. “I mean, I was the best in Nashua but that’s like… being a big fish in a small pond you know? It’s a different story competing against the best of other
cities and towns.”

I suspected he was being modest and I told him so. “I saw your pictures, remember. And the trophies…”

He reached over and loosened my ponytail, gently pulling the elastic from my hair. “What are you good at? You said before you liked photography ….writing…”

“You’ll laugh.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve always wanted to work for National Geographic. Travelling, writing, taking pictures… that really appeals to me.”

“Oh, wow,” he said, his eyes widening. “That’s incredible. So you’ll major in journalism?”

“And minor in English. I’m still sort of fine tuning what classes I want to take…”

“We have time.”

“Exactly.”

His eyes wandered my walls, gazing at the pictures and collages I’d put up. “Hopefully I’ll see your hometown one day.”

My heart fluttered. “I’d like that.”

A weighted silence fell over us. We didn’t have too much time left. He and Jasper had to drive back to New Hampshire not too long after Jasper returned from dinner.

“When do you go to Colorado?” I asked, pushing my hand through Edward’s hair. It was so soft.

“Last week of January. Why?”

“I… I was just wondering when we’ll be able to see each other again.” My voice wavered a little. I hoped he didn’t notice.

He cupped my cheek, making me look at him. “The drive from Boston to here isn’t that bad. It’s actually really doable. Can you imagine if I’d gone to school in Nevada like I’d
originally planned?”

I shook my head, smiling. He hadn’t really answered my question though. I decided not to pressure him. He liked me, that was obvious. If we were fated to have something real, then
I was going to have to trust that it would happen.

Yeah, right. The practical part of me, the part that needed to control things, wasn’t too content with leaving things to chance.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asked, scooting a little closer.

My heart skipped a beat, knowing in a second we’d be kissing. “You and me.”

“This?” He pressed his lips to mine, kissing me gently but firmly.

“Yeah…and other stuff…”

He kissed my ear and then my neck, making me squirm. “What stuff?”

His mouth was scrambling my thoughts.

“I wish…” kiss “… I want to…” kiss “I don’t think I’m gonna want to see other people.”

He grinned crookedly, taking my breath away all over again. “Then don’t. We won’t. We’ll see if we can do this, okay? It’s worth it, I think…”

Such simple little words made my heart soar.

I let his tongue inside my mouth, sinking my fingers into his hair, keeping him close. He rolled carefully on to me, making sure not to crush my injured ankle.

I felt my breathing quicken. This was definitely the closest we’d ever been.

He seemed to realize it at the same time because he pulled back a little and looked down at me. “This is okay, right?”

Smiling, I nodded. I probably looked loopy and lovesick, but I didn’t care.

We kissed awhile longer, growing in intensity until I pushed him away.

“We… should stop. For a second.”

“Just a second,” he agreed, winking as he fell back to my side.

“I really don’t want to,” I admitted.

“Me neither, but you’re right.” He reached for his phone, which he’d rested on the night stand. “What… Jasper texted me?”

“What’s up? They okay?”

Edward frowned, reading the message. “They’re getting a hotel for the night.”

“What?!”

“I knew something like this would happen,” he groaned, messaging back.

Any excitement I should have felt at the prospect of having Edward stay the night with me was overshadowed by his annoyance. He had to get back home to begin packing and
saying his own goodbyes. It was unfair of Jasper and Alice to pull this, even if they were having a rough time being apart.

“That sucks,” I said eventually. “I know you need to get back…”

His phone beeped, signaling another incoming text. Edward read it, and then put his phone aside. “Oh well.”

“They’re really staying? What did you tell him?”

“To be back before nine tomorrow. And that he’s paying for the gas to go back.”

I sat up, brushing my hair from my face. It had gotten a little wild during our make out session.

Suddenly things felt a little overwhelming. We were spending the night together, I guessed.

“I’m, uh, I’m going to take a quick shower. I’d offer you something to sleep in but we only have girl stuff.”

Edward snorted, helping me off of the bed. “I think I’ll be okay, Bella.”

I blushed. “Okay.”

I hurried through my shower and quickly changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. Edward was looking at one of my old photo albums when I emerged from the bathroom.
The tension between us was palpable. It wasn’t that I worried we were going to go too far, it’s just that I liked him a lot and our chemistry was kind of crazy. Just being near him
made me jittery, in a nice way.

“I have an extra toothbrush under the sink if you want,” I offered.

“What, you saying I have bad breath?” he teased.

“Shut up,” I laughed, shoving him as I plopped onto the bed. “You know what I mean.”

He stole a kiss and went into the bathroom.

Sighing, I settled back beneath the covers, thankful for the first time that my bed was so tiny. It would guarantee cuddling.

Edward came out. He checked to make sure the lock to the front room was locked then turned off all the lights before climbing into bed with me.

“Sleepy?” he asked. His hand brushed the elastic on my pants on its way to my back.

“Very,” I whispered, pulling myself closer to his body.

We kissed until we fell asleep.