September 2, 2010

He leaned against the door after closing it, his arms crossed as he stared at me. When I noticed he wasn’t following me anymore I stopped as well, turning to face him. “We’re not going to, are we?” I asked, disappointment filling me when he shook his head.

“I want to,” he whispered, the sound almost a growl of frustration, “believe me I do. It’s just…”

“Too soon,” I answered him, walking back to him. His arms came around me and pulled me hard against his chest. We stood like that for some time, just relaxing and relishing the quiet between us. This was just as restful as if I was laying down, and I was sure it was because of the peace I felt in his arms.

“Bella, you’re falling asleep,” he murmured with a chuckle, pulling me from my blissful reverie. “Why don’t I put you to bed?”

A ripple of laughter bubbled up through me. “Wasn’t that why we were standing here? To keep you out of my bed?”

With a roll of his eyes he pushed me gently away from him, his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “I didn’t say I would be joining you. That’s more temptation than even I can resist.” Shoving himself off the door he took my hand and led me down the hall. “Come on, sleepyhead, let’s get those teeth brushed and you to bed.”

Trudging after him I allowed him to pull me into the bathroom. When he turned on the light it was blinding, and I immediately closed my eyes. Opening just one didn’t seem to help, as it felt like a shard of glass was stabbing me. Even with them closed it seemed incredibly bright, glowing red on my eyelids.

His hands came around my waist once more as he told me to jump onto the counter where I leaned against the mirror as I heard him get my toothbrush wet and put some toothpaste on it. “Mirror, mirror on the wall…” I started, trailing off since I couldn’t think of what to ask it.

“You’re loopy when you’re tired, did you know that?” he asked, picking up my hand and placing the toothbrush into it. I just nodded as I started to brush my teeth, my eyes still closed, trying to do a thorough job. Unfortunately, I had to open them to find the sink to spit into, but it seemed enough brightness had leaked through my closed lids to make it not quite as painful.

I spit in a very desultory fashion, causing it to dribble down my chin. Squeaking I leaned forward more to keep the toothpaste from getting onto my clothes and turned on the water. With my hand cupped under the flow I grabbed some to rinse off my face, but it was really cold, giving me a chill.

“Bella?” Edward called from somewhere in the periphery. “Love, are you all right?” His warm hands found my face, cupping it gently. My hands reached out to his warmth, wanting to wrap around him. “Bella, you’re suddenly burning up.”

“No,” I argued, “I’m cold.”

“Mmhmm,” he agreed, and I watched as he opened my medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen. Shaking out two he handed them to me before turning to fill a glass with water. “Take these, and then we’ll get you warm.”

Swallowing them was far more difficult than it should have been, and he must have noticed my grimace as they passed my throat. In seconds his fingers were there, prodding under my jaw, and it hurt. When I tried to pull my head back I only managed to hit it against the mirror, and a whine of pain escaped. Now I was hurting both in front and in back. “Flashlight?” he asked, and I sighed.

“Kitchen,” I rasped out. Funny, that didn’t hurt like a half hour ago.

Leaving me on the counter he went in search. I just returned to my spot up against the mirror, closing my eyes and shivering a little. He had promised I could go to bed after brushing my teeth, and then he just left me here! Part of me wanted to yell at him for his desertion, but my throat reminded me that it would hurt.

“Open,” a voice in front of me said, and I vaguely recognized it as his. My ears were now clogging up some so he sounded really far away. Still, I sat up off the glass and obeyed and even said ‘ah’ when commanded to, although I’m pretty sure it sounded pathetic. When the light clicked off I closed my mouth and tried to lean back again, but he grabbed my forearms and pulled me forward. “Oh, no you don’t. Wrap your legs around my waist.”

“Not tonight, honey, I don’t feel good.” The words grated on my throat, but it was soothed by hearing his warm chuckle.

He tugged on my thighs, pulling me into him and wrapping my legs around his hips and lifting my arms around his neck. “Hold on,” he told me as he slipped his hands under my bottom and lifted me from the vanity.

“No fair. You finally touch me and I can’t do anything about it.” He chuckled again, the vibrations feeling almost as good as the heat of his body as he held me against him. My head felt really good against his shoulder, so I allowed my eyes to close again and rest it there.

“Bella, honey, you have to let go,” his voice told me, and I found that I was now on the bed, my arms still latched around his neck.

“Don’t wanna. You’re warm,” I argued back, my throat not feeling quite as bad. The drugs must already be kicking in.

“I just want to cover you up,” he replied, and that did sound awfully nice, so I released my hold on him and collapsed back into the bed. Soon he kept his word and the weight of the blankets, which were still chilly, came over me. I shivered a bit, and soon felt another blanket on top of the first one. I fell asleep listening to him on the phone with Tanya, asking for a strep test kit and for her to check my chart for allergies before calling in an antibiotic.

Whispers in the Trees, pt. 2

A lone bird whistled in the distance. The sound of crickets echoed softly in the trees. The gentle lapping of water around a lean body tickled my ears. Then a voice.

“I said, hello,” he repeated. He waded in the water, and awaited my response.

Startled, I wiped the water that splashed on my forehead and managed to find my ability to speak

“Oh…um, hi.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to splash you. I’m Edward.”

“Bella.”

“Are you coming in?”

“I…I’m sorry?”

“In the water. You’re sitting here in a bathing suit. Aren’t you going to swim?”

“Um. I don’t know. I didn’t know if it was safe…or, I didn’t know if anything was in there.”

That earned a laugh. Then he dove under and I could see his dolphin-like form glide beneath the surface. He came back up for air on the other side of the pond.

“Nothing in here but me. Maybe a small fish or two. But we don’t bite.” He laughed again and it made me smile. He swam back over towards the dock.

“Is it deep?” I couldn’t tell just from looking, the water was dark, the bottom wasn’t visible.

“Not too deep if you can swim. You can swim, can’t you?”

“Of course I can.”

“Then it’s not too deep.”

His wide smile and mischievous eyes warned me that if I didn’t get in, I was going to get wet either way. This Edward gave me the impression that he liked to play and was ready to splash. So I stood and pulled off my cut-off jean shorts, and jumped into the water.

The water felt refreshing on that hot summer day. I didn’t even mind the squish of cool mud between my toes went I stepped on the bottom.

“So what brings you to my pond, Bella?”

“This isn’t your pond.”

“Oh no? Who’s is it?”

“My grandmother’s. That’s her house down there.” I pointed toward the clearing, where only the rooftop and chimney of the Old House can be seen.

“Ah, I see, I was wondering if anyone lived there.”

He turned his head to look towards the Old House. Then he dove under water once again and swam past me. I felt the swish of moving water against my legs and it sent a shiver that I liked down my spine. When he came up for air, he shook his had swiftly from side to side, sending a spray of water across the surface of the pond.

I was mesmerized by the ripples of the water as he moved and by the way the muscles in his back flexed as he stretched his arms. The sun was lower in the sky but still shone brightly and made the droplets in his mop of hair look like shards of shining glass.

“Where do you live?” I asked when he turned around.

“My parents bought that house on the other side of that field. We’re here just for the summer.” He was talking about a beautiful, modern house that was set deep in the woods, back from the main road into town. I remembered a few years back during a visit with my mother, when the house was being built. She and I’d take long walks along the road and through the paths in the woods. We watched the progress of the construction over our three week visit, and even snuck into the house on a Sunday afternoon when no one was there. It was lovely.

“So are you here for the summer?” he asked.

I just nodded yes.

“Well that’s good. It’s kinda boring around here. It’ll be nice to have someone to swim with.” He stepped out of the pond and grabbed a towel I hadn’t noticed was lying in the bank. I watched as he slung it around his neck.

He started to walk away, towards his house, but then turned back to me.

“See you around, Bella.”

I raided my hand from the water and waved. And then he walked away.

“We don’t have enough time,” I grumbled.

“Enough time for what?” she said.

“Enough time to really make use of your room,” I said.

“Ah, yes, well, it is unfortunate,” she retorted, not sounding sad at all. She broke our embrace rather abruptly and said, “Give me just a minute to freshen up and then I’ll book our massages. For the sake of space should we use your suite?”

“By all means,” I answered.

While she was behind the closed bathroom door I stood there, wishing that I could dash over to said suite and relieve myself so I wouldn’t be in a lust-filled haze all afternoon. Then again, it was nice to have that crisp feeling of anticipation and readiness that hiked up the delight when good things finally came.

She exited the bathroom looking perfect and then signalled with her hand that it was my turn.

I stood in the bathroom for a second and said, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall…who’s the horniest one of all?”

I chuckled quietly to myself and straighted up. Once we were both presentable we struck out for the afternoon break-out sessions. I wouldn’t see Bella again until dinner and I was thinking that might not necessarily be a bad thing.

I was able to participate in some great and insightful discussions during the break-out sessions and by the time dinner came I was ravenous. I saw Bella in the clearing where dinner was served and she looked radiant and had a honey-kissed look that must’ve been the result of our lunch in the sun.

She was so beautiful. I worried for a second about how it would be to work with her in our dreary office now that we had crossed the barrier of professionalism. I was sure my desire, admiration and unbridled affection were obvious on my face. But now was heaven and the office was still several days away. I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.

Dinner was a wonderful patron’s choice fresh grill event. A variety of fresh cuts of meat, fish and seafood were laid out and we simply selected what we wanted, went to an open grill and dished up our sides while the meat was cooked.

I went for energy food: a lean cut of steak, potatoes and a fresh greens salad. Bella had a similarly constructed plate and I was happy we had a common goal. Could this mean she was physically preparing for our alone time later?

Dinner was a big social event and I was sort of stuck in a question and answer mode for most of the meal. Jessica asked me if I was single at one point. God she was tactless! I played it close to the vest and explained that yes indeed, there was someone. I didn’t say that it was Bella and didn’t allude to the seriousness of my particular someone.

Jessica was quick to comment that, “Of course you have someone. You’re too good looking to be single.”

I thanked her with politeness and detachment for the compliment and when dinner ended Bella and I stood to leave along with our dinner companions.

“Enjoy your massage Bella,” said Jessica. “We expect to see you well-rested in the morning at chair yoga.”

“Chair yoga?” I questioned as we walked away.

“Yes, they’re doing a morning yoga class and split it into two groups. Chair yoga is for the novice population like me,” she said.

“I might have to look into that,” I said.

“Are you flexible?” she asked.

“Not particularly. Are you?” I asked, imagining what flexibility could mean for our much anticipated third date.

“Freakishly so,” she said. “I’m not athletic in the slightest but I’ve always been more bendy than anyone else I know.”

I couldn’t think of much to say after that except, “So how are we going to work this tonight?”

“Two massage therapists are coming. I’m sure they’ll tell us what to do,” she said confidently.

Sure enough, we arrived at my suite and moments later there was a knock on the door. Two therapists came in with tables and supply bags. The one asked me to go into one room and put on my robe while the other asked the same of Bella. We were instructed to take off everything except our underwear. I went into the bedroom to strip down and wondered what Bella’s underwear looked like. I wondered if it was anything like the lacy thigh-highs she’d flashed that one day and inevitably I started to firm up.

Not good when I was to go back out into a room with three women. I began to imagine road kill and fishing and ultimate fighting and things thankfully backed down to a manageable state. When I came out of the bedroom Bella was already lying on one of the tables, her face turned away to give me privacy.

My therapist held up a drape and looked away while I disrobed and she instructed me to lay face-down to begin. Once I was situated, the music came on and the two massages began. Periodically Bella would say something to me or her therapist and at one point I heard her moan.

It was everything I could do to maintain my control when we flipped onto our backs. I looked over at Bella even while she had her eyes closed and watched as the therapist moved over her body, draping her conservatively.

Even so, I still got to see lovely expanses of Bella’s creamy skin, and laying on my back was not the best position to contain my excitement at seeing more of her than ever before. I had to turn my head the other way lest my warnings about huge tents came true.

I tried to go to sleep but I kept seeing nothing but Bella behind my eyelids. I began doing some number-crunching and thinking about compounding annual interest and mortgage rates. It was quite effective at keeping my body under control. Thank God!

When the massage was over Bella was the first to exit the room. I sat up just as she was shrugging on her robe. Her back was narrow and before the robe came up I got a glimpse of her flaring hips and her tight little waist.

She still had to leave. She still had to walk back to her room. But damn it! She was still in my suite.

I tipped both of the therapists and they left before I went to my room to dress. Just as I was about to open the bedroom door Bella peeked out of the bathroom.

“Do you mind if I shower before I walk back to my room?” she asked.

“I don’t mind at all,” I said. “I’m feeling a little oily myself.”

“Wanna join me?” she said.

Her voice was so soft that I didn’t think she meant it. I didn’t answer.

“Edward?” she prompted a little more loudly. “Do you want to join me?”

I was shocked and spoke before I thought about the appropriateness of my reply.

“Hell yes I want to join you,” I said, moving in her direction.

“I’ll call you when I’m ready,” she said, retreating into the bathroom and closing the door part-way.

“Okay,” I said aloud. I fist-pumped the air and did a little victory dance as I heard the water turn on and the shower engage.

I heard the shower curtain pull back and then Bella said, “You can come in.”

I tried to pry my mind away from the idea that we were going to have sex. Just because I was going to see her in the shower didn’t mean we would have sex. I couldn’t assume and I wanted to be respectful.

I shed my robe and boxer briefs when I went in and then touched the shower curtain.

“Are you sure?” I asked before daring to look at her.

“Yes,” she replied. “Come in here – I want to see you.”

I stepped into the warm steamy enclosure and tried to find Bella’s eyes before I looked at her body. It was extremely difficult but I told myself I wouldn’t look down until she did.

She stood under the spray, leaning her head back to wet her hair and then turned briefly to ensure that her body was fully moistened as well. She stepped aside and indicated it was my turn and I moved toward the water, barely brushing against her body.

She was wet and slippery and I turned to look at her while I let the water fall over my skin. I leaned my head back a little and her eyes finally made their descent, combing over every inch of my skin as I stood under the warm torrent.

I watched her reaction and was pleased that I saw no disappointment. I saw only hunger and excitement which increased as she moved forward with her hand outstretched. She touched my chest first, trailing her fingers down from my collar bone, drawing a line on my skin right down to my navel where she stopped and looked up to meet my eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” she said, “In so many ways.”

I swallowed hard and reached for her with both hands. I met her shoulders and slid my hands down the backs of her arms, hoping she’d come into my embrace.

I was not disappointed. She moved closer so that the tips of her breasts touched my skin before her hand wrapped around the back of my neck, bringing my lips down to her hot and waiting mouth.

The wetness from the shower was the most exquisite lubricant and we slid against each other deliciously. I didn’t rub my tent-maker on her but damn if I didn’t want to. I just held her against me and we kissed and let our tongues find each other.

Her hands roamed over my back, sliding down over my bottom, sending little jolts of want all the way around to my front. My nipples hardened along with other parts of me and my body pushed against her of its own accord.

“Let me wash you,” she begged against my lips.

“Okay,” I said.

She unwrapped the soap and lathered her hands which immediately went to work on every dip and contour of my body, sliding to erase the remnants of massage oil. She was thorough, to say the least. I was sure she found every single crevice with her soapy hands and by the time she told me to rinse, I was dying to slam her against the wall and plunge myself inside of her.

I rinsed. I took the soap.

“Your turn,” I said.

My grateful hands returned the favor but instead of the chaste and thorough exploration Bella had used, I added my own flair. I rinsed each body part after sudsing it up and then kissed it, which was most adventageous when I reached her breasts and then finally her sex.

I had my soapy hands cradling her bottom while I kissed her front and she leaned against the wall of the shower and just moaned as my kisses opened her up and her slickness touched my tongue.

I explored for a few seconds and looked up at her. She had her eyes closed and her hands in my hair. When I stopped and she looked down at me I said, “This is date number two?”

“Four,” she corrected. “This is four.”

I must’ve looked confused because she clarified immediately. “Lunch dates count. Dinner dates count. Massage dates count. It’s four.”

I practically growled as I stood up and pressed my body full against hers, demanding her kisses and hoping to collect on her promise.

The day after Mother’s funeral, two of my sisters, my brother and me met at Mother’s little house in the old neighborhood where I grew up.

The purpose of this somber occasion was to divide up among the siblings the last meager personal items in Mother’s house before it was put up for sale. It was particularly important to do this immediately after her death since my brother and one of the sisters had flown in from new lives and new locations far away, and in fairness, they wanted their share.

As it turned out, any concerns were inconsequential because neither my brother nor I cared about the old jewelry or china, and the only thing left after that was decades old, worn furniture that was donated en masse to Goodwill Industries. But there were the old photographs—books of them. Even extra boxes where many had been tossed after Mother had become either too old or too complacent to deal with them.

So after the easy work—the preliminaries—we all sat down together on those old couches and chairs with photo albums and boxes before us and started the task of dividing them up. For the most part, it was simply agreed that whole albums would be reduced to computer disc and copied to us all. But then came the scatter of loose photos in disorganized array among a half dozen corrugated boxes.

We decided that there was no choice but to go through them together and distribute them as the content of the photo may demand. Baby pictures of my brother’s children—they went to him….and so forth, into the afternoon we sorted.

Despite the circumstances, our collective mood grew lighter as we pulled photos and shared memories of the good times they represented.

Eventually, my older sister pulled out a photo and gave it to me for a look. It was a Thanksgiving Day gathering while I was still in high school. My Mother and Father were up front and smiling, surrounded by family. Mother was still relatively young and beautiful, even though she was about to become a grandmother. She smiled broadly, eyes sparkling with the happiness of the moment, with her children, her mother, some aunts and uncles and cousins around her. As was usual in those days, I had taken a position in the back row, a typically rebellious and moody teenager.

But then, as if it were yesterday, her eyes met mine. She was petite, standing beside me in that photograph, only the hint of a smile on her face, looking out at me with those dark eyes as if I were now the one in a looking glass. Her soft lips were slightly parted, as they always were when we kissed—deep, sweet and longing. After all these years, I shuttered with the memories that were flooding over me.

I thought of our clumsy, teenager loss of virginity together in my bed at Mother’s house. I thought of the five more years that we grew up together and devoured each other with a heat and passion that can only get better with the selective memories that remain as the years pass.

For those few moments looking at her in that photograph, I could still smell the fragrance of her young body in my rumpled sheets. I could hear her soft moans and taste her sweetness, and feel her silken skin. I was lost in her again.

Did I love her? I don’t think so. If I had, I would have taken her along when I left to conquer the world. But we were soul mates. We were best friends and lovers until I betrayed her to follow other dreams. When I finally returned many years later, she had moved on. As it turned out, that was probably the best thing for both of us………

“JACK!” “JACK!” “THIS IS EARTH TO JACK!”

My older sister can sometimes be a little overbearing and annoying.

“Jack, do you want that picture or not!” she said.

“Sure, I want to remember her the way she was back then,” I responded. Then I stammered, “Mother, that is……”