September 8, 2010

“Jessica? Are you ready?” I called down the hall to the guest bedroom. It was getting late, and I had promised Edward we would meet him at the hospital for lunch. I had forgotten how long it had taken her to get ready to go anywhere. “I’ve got to go. Now!”

“Keep your panties on,” she called back, “at least until you’re alone with Edward. I’m coming.” Huffing and crossing my arms I leaned against the wall and waited. It was while sucking in a huge breath in anticipation of yelling that I was leaving her behind that she finally appeared, dressed to the nines.

“Um, Jess? You do know we’re going to a hospital, in Texas, right? Not the theater in New York?” It was impossible not to giggle at her kitten heels under a pair of designer jeans and a wrap top, perfectly accessorized with jewelry.

She rolled her eyes elaborately at me. “Just because you live in the west doesn’t mean you don’t have to worry about fashion, Bella.” Then she looked at my outfit, the naturally faded jeans paired with one of Edward’s old shirts. The only nod to fashion was my boots, and those were more for practicality than anything else. One too many trips into cowpies had sent me shopping at the western outfitters store. “Not like you ever did, but I care.”

“Remind me to introduce you to my sister-in-law.” Taking hold of her arm I drug her out to the car. Halfway there I stopped in my tracks when I heard the sound of a small bark. “Jess, is Mipsy with you?”

“Of course she is, Bella. I can’t leave her home alone, she’d rip up your sheets because she was so bored.”

“Fine, but she can’t come into the hospital,” I told her while hopping into my truck. “People around here think animals serve only one of two purposes, food or work. Other than that they have no value.” Before I turned over the engine I gave her a firm look. “She’ll have to stay in the truck.”

“Will we be there long?” she asked, whining and cooing at the miniature beast. “I don’t like to leave her all alone.”

“What did you do with her when you were at work?”

“Bella,” she said, rolling her eyes once again. “I worked in Portland, I took her with me.”

The rest of the trip was quiet, with the exception of the baby talk the dog received, being fed treats that Jessica held between her own lips. It was all I could do not to cringe.

When we finally arrived it was to find Edward pacing in the lobby, glancing at his watch and out the doors. His relief on seeing me was palpable. “Sorry,” I said, walking over to him to put my arms around his waist and lean my head on his shoulder. It was how we always greeted each other now, walking into an embrace and just holding for a moment of peace before allowing the world to intrude once more.

“You’re never late,” he began, but I cut him off with a knowing look.

“Get used to it for a little while.”

He grinned at my whisper. “That bad?”

“You have no idea.”

Pressing a kiss onto my forehead he whispered very quietly. “You forget who I’m related to.” Our eyes caught for a moment before we both began laughing. “Come on, Mike’s bored.”

“You’ve already been back?” I asked, surprised and wondering just how late we were.

“I got here early,” he said, taking my hand and using the free one to wave to Jessica. “How are you this afternoon?” he asked her over his shoulder, since his long strides were quickly outdistancing what she could do in her slippery heels. I really didn’t understand why designers couldn’t make dress shoes for women that had grip on the bottom. Did they want us to all break our legs?

“Fine,” Jessica panted back, pushing down something in her handbag. That was when I realized she had somehow gotten the mop of fur out of my truck without me realizing it.

Halting, and pulling Edward to a stop as well I put out a hand to stop her. “Jess?” I hissed, “did you bring Mipsy into the hospital? Do you want us to be thrown out?”

“Bella, you really need to calm down,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “If you don’t make a big deal out of it neither will anyone else.”

“It’s too late to do anything about it now, darling,” Edward whispered behind me. “Just let it go and she might be right.”

“Doubtful,” I murmured, frustration welling up in me, reminding me why I had been so anxious to move out from living with her in the first place.

It wasn’t much farther to Mike’s room, so I just paced there quickly, leaving Jess in the dust to slide her way after us. His head shot up as soon as we crossed the threshold, a huge smile splitting his face. “Bella!” he called, his delight evident. “You came to see me! And Edward! And some beautiful girl with a small dog!”

Perhaps it was more the morphine that was delighted to see us, because as soon as those last words left his lips, the nurse who was injecting something into his IV line was most decidedly not happy. Neither, apparently, was Mipsy.

Scrambling frantically the furball escaped Jessica’s handbag and started yipping ferociously at the nurse, or at least as ferociously as a five pound dog could sound. Apparently it was enough for the nurse, who suddenly jumped back, upsetting the IV tree, causing it to fall over onto Mike. Edward lunged to grab the nurse, since it appeared her head was aiming for the corner of the sink next to her, but was waylaid by Jessica who was grabbing for her dog.

My own hands were shooting for the IV tree, hoping to catch it before it landed on the patient. Unfortunately I got tangled in the lines, only succeeding in losing my own balance and falling across Mike’s lap. Looking over I could see that Edward hand managed to protect the nurse by sacrificing his own shoulder, which he was now rubbing with a grimace. The only successful person was Jessica, who was now cooing at her dog, telling it in a pitch of voice that should be reserved for torture that it was a bad dog and won’t be getting any treats.

Catching my husband’s eyes I gave him that ‘I told you so’ look. He just sighed and tried to untangle his long limbs from those of the nurse. At the moment they looked like they had been playing twister without the mat.

Worried about how my fall might have affected Mike I looked over at him, but he was oblivious to my presence. He only had eyes for Jessica, who even now was lowering her dog to stare back.

He was down on his knees in front of me, but that didn’t seem right, I needed to be on even footing with him, breasts to chest. I slid down off the couch, grasped his hands, leaned in to him and kissed him.

“Yes,” I said in to his mouth, smiling as I felt his breath hitch.

He leaned back and looked at me, my ring on the first knuckle of his index finger, pulled my face to his again and kissed me over and over while he held my cheeks. I laughed as the tears leaked out of my eyes, making his hands wet.

“Thank you,” he said simply, his thumbs brushing the wetness off my face. He made a big production of putting the ring on my finger and then closed my hand and kissed my knuckles. “You have made me the happiest man ever.”

“I think you may have that backwards,” I said, holding my palm to his face, tracing underneath his eye with my thumb. His eyes were greener than I’d ever seen them before, and I was lost.

“Sit with me,” he said, scooting back up on the couch, holding my hand to help me up.

“How about I sit on you?” I laughed, not wanting to be merely next to him, I wanted to be connected to him, feel him.

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” he asked, stroking my hair with one hand, his other rested heavily on my thigh. “And Lucy does too.”

“It’s funny, I’d never thought of myself as very maternal but Lucy just fits with me. I can never replace Rose, nor would I want to, but I love her. I want the very best for her.”

“Music to my ears,” he said, smiling.

His hand pulled my face to his and he kissed me, his other hand snaking up my thigh underneath my skirt. I felt the hot trail of his fingers drawing flowers on my skin as he worked towards his goal. I arched my back and gasped as his hand left my leg quickly. I looked down at his face and saw he was fixated on my breasts.

“Need this…off,” he grunted, his face disappearing for a second as my shirt flew up over my eyes and was flung in the corner. I chuckled to myself. Edward was such a boob man.

His fingers dragged gently down my shoulders and back, releasing straps and lace cups, exposing me to him. His palms ghosted, his fingers tweaked, and his tongue laved me into a frenzy that had my hips grinding down, desperate for the friction and release I knew I could only find with him.

Buttons were undone, zippers released and I lowered myself on him, needing his fullness, needing to be one.

~

After love, a few times over, we lay in my bed, me sandwiching him in, his fingers stroking up my back. It was very late and I was languid.

“How long did you live in Chicago before you moved out west?” I asked. “I know you told me, but I can’t remember. Did you meet Rose there or in Seattle?”

“I moved out there after college and met Rose when I’d started at the firm. Lucy was born when I made partner.”

“I’m afraid,” I said suddenly.

“Of what, darling?” He said, his fingers never breaking stride on my back.

“What’s gonna happen the first time Lucy and I argue?” I asked. I’d been worrying about this, would she try to throw it in my face that I was her stepmother? Would she be hurt at all thinking I was trying to replace Rose?

Edward sighed. “I know, I’ve thought about that too, but Lucy was very young when Rose died. She and I have talked a little about her, but honestly, what I’d said before was true. Lucy kept me going; at first though, I didn’t take the time to get over my own grief. I wallowed in it and Lucy was just there, existing, keeping me on the ground and moving forward. We didn’t talk about Rose or our feelings or anything very much. I wasn’t…I wasn’t a very good father.”

I pulled up and looked at him. “Oh Edward, you’d just lost your wife and had a four-year old to look after. I can’t think of many men that would have done any better.”

He smiled at me indulgently. “I appreciate your confidence, but it has only been within the last year that I’ve been able to come to terms with it. By that time, Lucy didn’t really have many memories of Rose, not that she had a lot to begin with.

“I spoke with Rose about you, you know…” he said with a bit of hesitation.

“Really?” I mused. “And what did you say?”

“Well, for a while there, I felt like she was still with me, guiding me and I would ask her help with things, decisions, things about Lucy and I always felt like she gave me an answer.” He continued. “That night you read the story to the kids…at Alice’s…do you remember?”

I thought back and nodded. That was the first time he’d really kissed me.

“Before you walked into the room, I’d been having a conversation with Rose…about you, asking for her blessing. And then you walked in and said, ‘It’s okay, you know,’ and in that very moment, I knew.”

“You knew what?” I asked.

“That you were the one I was supposed to be with, the one that I was going to fall in love with and that everything would be okay, just like you said.”

I thought to myself for a little and leaned up to kiss him. “And now look at us…engaged.”

“Yep, can’t get rid of me now,” he said, smiling and dragging my body up his, closer to his mouth. I hissed at the contact and laughed at the expression on his face, feeling him harden instantly beneath me. Of course the laughter did interesting things and we began again, finding a slow and powerful release in each other.

My last thought after falling asleep in his arms was how I wanted to see Lucy…in the morning…first thing.

I missed my new daughter.