Word Prompt: Disdain
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Prompt: Word Prompt: Disdain
“Bella,” he whispered. “Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?”
I gasped and his eyes opened. They were as cold and hard as night.
“You can’t!” I said too loudly. I worked to modulate the volume of my voice so Charlie wouldn’t hear, but I wanted to shout the words. “Edward, they’d use any excuse for a fight. They’d love that. You can’t ever break the rules!”
“Maybe they aren’t the only ones who would enjoy a fight.”
“Don’t you start,” I snapped. “You made the treaty–you stick to it.”
“If he’d hurt you–”
“Enough!” I cut him off. “There’s nothing to worry about. Jacob isn’t dangerous.”
“Bella.” He rolled his eyes. “You aren’t exactly the best judge of what is or isn’t dangerous.”
“I know I don’t have to worry about Jake. And neither do you.”
He ground his teeth together. His hands were balled up in fists at his sides. He was still standing against the wall, and I hated the space between us.
“Don’t you get it?” he snarled.
Eyes wide, I took a step back. Edward’s temper had never been aimed at me before, and while I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, I had to admit I was intimidated.
“This isn’t just about the danger, although that is a legitimate concern. This is about you choosing him over me. Every. Single. Time. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? You tell me that you love me, but you treat my feelings with such disdain. You’re constantly telling me that Jacob’s hurting, that he needs you, but what about me, Bella? Do you think that I don’t need you? That I’m not hurting every time you run off to him?”
“Edward, Jake is my friend. He was there for me when I needed him, and I won’t turn my back on him now.”
“Bella, believe me, I am eternally grateful that you had Jacob to lean on when I left, but if you think he’s your friend, you’re delusional.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Teeth gritted and nostrils flared, I crossed the room until I was standing right in front of him.
He laughed, but there was no humor in his voice. “Open your eyes, Bella! He’s in love with you, and he’ll do anything to get you away from me.”
“But I don’t love him!” I wanted to scream, but waking Charlie up would be disastrous. “I can’t help the way he feels, but for me, it’s just friendship. I’ve never given you one reason not to trust me, so I’d appreciate it if you’d stop acting like I’m going to run off with him.”
Edward paced the width of my room at vampire speed. He ran his hands through his hair so much, I was afraid he was going to pull it out. I had never seen him this out of control. There was nothing human about him tonight. When he stopped and faced me, the anger in his eyes was muted by pain.
“You may not be running off with Jacob, but when you go see him against my wishes, it feeds his belief that you love him and are simply unaware of the fact. He absolutely loves it when you choose to spend time with me when I’ve asked you not to. He–”
“Stop right the fuck there, Edward.” His eyebrows lifted at the profanity, but I was too pissed off to care. “You’ve never asked me not to go–you tell me not to, and expect me to obey. Charlie doesn’t order me around as much as you do, and he’s my father!”
“I’m not done yet,” I glared at him. “I’m truly sorry that I hurt you. I never meant for you to feel like I was choosing Jake over you. I didn’t see it that way, but I can understand why you did. Now that you’ve bothered to tell me.”
“I shouldn’t have had to!”
“And why the hell not? You know I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Did you think I was going to do everything right all the time? Never make mistakes? That’s a lot of pressure to put on me, Edward. You, at least, live with three happily married couples. You can learn all this stuff just by watching them. Even without the mind reading, you’re ahead of the game. I love you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you boss me around.”
He looked down at the floor and sighed. When he looked back up, the anger was gone. “You’re right. I’ve been an ass, and I’m sorry. Age is supposed to bring wisdom, but around you, I act just as stupid as every other seventeen-year-old boy.”
Even though I was still kind of mad, his dejected expression was more than I could bear. I walked over to him and took his hands in mine. “What are you thinking?”
My favorite crooked grin made an appearance for the first time all day. “Isn’t that my line?” He took a deep breath before responding. “I still don’t want you spending time with Jacob,” I opened my mouth to protest, “but,” he went on, “I realize I was being unreasonable to expect you to cut off all contact with him. I would appreciate it if you would…limit your visits to La Push,” he ended hesitantly.
“Is he really in love with me? I mean, more than just a crush?”
“I’m afraid it’s no crush; he’s really in love with you.”
“OK, fewer visits, and I promise I won’t sneak off without telling you again.” I hesitated, not sure how to phrase what I wanted to say next. “You know, if you’d explained things instead of just forbidding me from going, I probably wouldn’t have. I’m willing to admit that was a little spiteful, but I really didn’t appreciate being treated like a child.”
Edward didn’t say anything, so I continued. “Besides, if he thinks that I’m coming around because I’m in love with him and just don’t know it, then I think it would be best for everyone if I’m not there so much.”
“I can live with that.” He pulled me into his arms. “Are we OK?”
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “We will be.”
A/N: The italicized text at the beginning is from Eclipse, chapter 6.
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